The Realm of Hope and Despair

Last post...

2010-07-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

don't worry, i ain't going anyway...this is only the last post for this blog, and i gonna put the new post on another blog....the address is http://talesofteenager.blogspot.com...

well, happy following...^_^

I hate bring.....

2010-07-22T00:53:00.000-07:00

i always pay attention to the calendar, and i realized one thing; time flow extremely slow when you had nothing to do, and flow with light speed when you have something to do...XD

I can't believe that it's been only two months, two extremely long months that i feel like it's been 2 years...blah...i hate to being boring, FB, dota, O2 mania, anything that is playable on my lame laptop is nothing like old hags to me...

Completely lost my motivation already....

Graduated..

2010-07-18T17:49:00.000-07:00

my, my, my...almost one year ago, i coincidently saw my DCB seniors' convocation ceremony, but at that time, i never thought of it, and never had any intention to take it seriously...but, when it's come to MY convocation...i am so excited, nervous and yet, a little bit of sadness is found deep inside my heart, especially when i am ready to sleep...

I lie on my queen-size bed, but i can't sleep...i just can't calm down my mind and brain...they are overwhelmed with the convocation event happened, as well as some fragments of possible events occurred when i go to UK...although i ready to sleep on 12.00am....but i can't sleep, and the time i checked before my consciousness gone, it's 2,30am...

This isn't the worst, i wake up at 6.30am...god bless me...then, i login my FB, and surprise, i saw some of my friends uploaded the photos i.e 3 to 4 hours ago...well, he might be sleep very early today...well, moving on....then i played some games till 8.30am...then, i slept again, but this time, i can sleep much better than the previous...

Out of my expectation, i woke up at 12pm...the first thing i do after i wake up is to take a bath...to completely wake my mind up....i hated to be a mindless walking zombie...and taking a bath should do the tricks...

well, i'll try to upload the photos asap....XD

What a Rush!!

2010-07-15T05:05:00.000-07:00

i just received a call from Kojadi, and they bring a bright notification to me that definitely boost my mood entirely to sky-rocket high!!

That Kojadi girl said that i can go to Wisma MCA to receive the first installment of my loan, which is RM25,000...with that, i can start to "officially" commence the start of my Student Visa application!!! And with this event, I completely understand and applied the fact of "you can say whatever you want, regardless it's a lie and as long as it's practical, logical and reasonable"...

I knew this fact long time ago, but I unable to apply, and understand it...i just simply tell the Kojadi staffs that I need the fund ASAP, with the reason of arrangement of time for Visa application. So, the fund supposed to be released on 21st of July, and I make it 16th!!! That's mean tomorrow!!!

Due to these things, i can foresee that the following days are eventful....

16th July, I'll take my funds from Kojadi, bank in the money, and wait for it to be transfer. After this, i gonna wait for a few days and make the TT to paid my tuition fees to University...

17th July, one of the important day to my family, my convocation ceremony. The reason why it's important for my family is because this is the highest education achievement made (the family i mean here doesn't include my cousins of course, their highest achievement is Bachelor Degree....i think...)

18th July, I will forcibly to take my grandma to the temple, together with my sister and cousin(maybe)...there, i'll be ram by tons of questions, curiosities, and requests...which are i would like to avoid it as much as possible....

well, these i can foresee until Sunday, the Monday schedule would be subjected to change, since there are many inconsistence factors....XD

A little story here...

2010-07-14T05:12:00.000-07:00

well, i just watch the TV and there is a small drama broadcasting, and i feel it's very meaningful, so i decided to put it here....

There is a king who like to hunting wild animals with his personal advisor. One day, when he is hunting, he heard a woman crying. He is curious, so he search the woman. Later, he found that woman, when he approaching closer to have a better examination on the woman, he never expect that the woman is an assassin.

That woman try to kill the king with her dagger. Although the king's bodyguard manage to defend the king, but unfortunately, one of the king's finger is injured and being cut off. Later, when the king back to his palace, his advisor comfort the king and say: "Your Majesty, please do not put the loss of your finger in mind. Since this might be the best choice made by fate. The lost of a finger is better than losing your life, Your Majesty!"

The king of course, frustrated, and say: "Of course it's the BEST choice made by fate! If I sentence to your death or imprison you, this would be another BEST choice i made to you!"

The advisor replied, "If this is your majesty choice, then i will accept my fate as well."

Nevertheless, the king never wanted to sentence his friend to death, since the advisor served him for years. So, he ordered to knights to put the advisor in jail.

After one month, the king is still angry to his loss of the finger, although it's healed, he decided to visit the villages with plain clothes alone, in order to improve the living standard of his country. But, he is ambushed by some barbarians(come on, i know what are you thinking, there are no barbarians if there is a land ruled, but this is what i saw, so be it...XD). They intent to make the king as their offering to their Goddess of Full Moon.

In the barbaric's tradition, the offerings must be a perfect being, without any disabilities, as their Goddess of Full Moon symbolize perfection. The king is examined one night before the ritual. To their surprise, the king lost one of his finger, so the barbarians must abandon their choice and they must hunt again for another perfect human.

The king is released, and return to his palace with the beast hide that the barbarians gave to him. The first thing he do after he returned to his palace is pay a visit to his advisor, instead of changing into a new, luxury clothes. He say, " You are right! If that day i didn't lost my finger, then i'll lost my life today!!!" Then the king tell his experience to his advisor."

After that, the advisor say in relieve after he listened to the king's encounter, "And i said Your Majesty made a best choice for me too!!"

The king confused, the advisor continued, "If that day your majesty didn't imprison me, then, i'll accompany your majesty for the visits. Then, i'll become the barbarians' offering instead yours!!"

The End...

Conclusion: well, think it yourself!!!!

feeling urge again....

2010-07-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

Darn...had a daily routine with my mum...just after i had my breakfast, i start up my laptop...same old laptop, another daily routine within Facebook...then, i feel another urge to post something again...

just a either sanely or insanely hypothesis, this can be interpreted as i am thinking something out of circle again....my mind wants me to develop a habit that update my blog within two or three days period, like a daily instead...and this might helpful for me to first, share my life in UK once i go there, second, act as a dairy for to remember everything that develop my maturity and third, as a way to express my thoughts...XD

haiz....people around me, are either married, or had a girlfriend, or love she in secretly...just i had none...>_<

I am feeling urge....

2010-07-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

this is not happening once, but many consecutive days since the previous post...i have the urge to post something, but when i clicked create a new post button, i paused, staring at the monitor, then keyboard, then facebook, finally the song list, which i wish i can switch my mood by changing the songs playing...but i got nothing that's worth to post it out....

maybe i gonna type out why i choose "The Other Promise", composed by Shimomura Youko, original soundtrack for Kingdom Heart 2: Final Mix.....Main music components used: piano, violin, flute....secondary music components used: clang, electronic keyboard(maybe)...

since this is an original soundtrack, so the scene it is played is when Sora fight with his Nobody, Roxas....a very interesting and epic fight for both of them....i just find this soundtrack very calming, and can act as a lullaby, if you completely immerse yourself into the melody....

That's all...but another thing comes into my mind...

It's seems like, no, obviously all of my friends are working very hard, regardless which field; study, working, and exercises as well.....while I, just sitting there for whole, got nothing to do...well, not completely, because i'm just waiting replies....

Most of my ex-classmates are continue their advance diploma at college, and i had a copy of their timetable...i just had the urge like want to join the class, but i afraid the questions will ramming my again...if the questions are come from friends, i wouldn't mind it much but if from the lecturers....well, i guess i made some reputations around the lecturers and they definitely will remember me.....i am just embarrassed if the lecturers ask some either harsh or silly questions.....

One of my secondary school friend is working now, while taking a part time ACCA paper...and sound like he is working every moments when i call him, even after 8.00pm night.....he said something like this industrial training can actually gain many experiences and so on....

My one and only childhood friend, just called me to train some badminton lessons so that he could make himself slimmer, as well as his skill on badminton...he even had a plan for what to be trained when we having the session....taking the matter so serious.....

i guess, i am now unmotivated, until i go to UK, and having a whole new, while unfamiliar life there....

All The Best My Friends...

Racism....

2010-07-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

although i don't had anything particular to post, but i still have the intention to post something out, so be it...

first talk about my current status, i am busying to apply my student visa, which is a fatal point of overseas study for every student....

since there are many people "jump aeroplane", causing UK's government to take serious action for, in order to prevent UK become current status of Malaysia....mean too much non-local labors...especially illegal one...

for that, the British Council take many harsh measurement to prevent that from happening....this will making the student to prepare many, many documents for that...bank statements, CAS number, offer letter, reference letter and so on.....the CAS number is abbreviate for...forgot, anyway, it's a serial number that link to a database, which the officers in British Council will search my name using this number, to show that i am accepted in university, and others related information as well....

I roughly calculated, and i need total of 15+ documents, while i just lack three things only....the bank letter, CAS number and my fund from Kojadi....so probably, no, DEFINITELY no more problems for me to so called "survive" in UK for one year...but the problem still there for my second year life...

this is why the post title related, i heard the Bank Raky*t outside the KL area, maybe Subang, Rawang branch etc can provide study loan for non-government servants applicants. And i tried Rawang branch but end up in disappointing...but i still haven't give up my hope yet, so i go to Subang branch on Friday...

firstly, i met the branch executive, and he willing to provide any information and requirements to me to apply the loan, so i go back, prepare everything and then i go back there on Monday...but that guy is not there, and i was served by other guy....

after he read through everything, he said something like "my mum's salary are not trustworthy enough to be an applicant", then he explain "there are no payslips to prove my mum's salary is RM3,500 per month"...then he ask us(my dad and I) to provide the Borang J in order to prove my mum's salary...my dad shown him the income tax receipt, but he said still "not strong enough to be trusted"....

then on the way back, my dad said "if my mum's salary isn't that much, what's the point to state how much my mum earned that much and paid RM1,000+ income tax?!"...so, what's the point???

Then, there are only one word in my mind, "RACISM"...the meaning is...

racism ['reɪsɪzm]

noun

the prejudice that members of one race are intrinsically superior to members of other races

discriminatory or abusive behavior towards members of another race

Obviously, that guy is looking for troubles, especially when he saw the applicant's name is a Chinese...I still don't understand...Prime Minister state "Satu Malaysia" in order to maintain the harmony among the races....I can assure myself that, although deep in my heart, i had a strong racism toward a particular race, but i still treat them fairly when they come to shopping in my shop, with same discounted price to everybody, regardless the nationality and races....but why still this particular race still treating the Chinese so unfair?!

I just had a very tiniest hope that after two years, the situation will become better for all races....or else....the consequence will be deserve for what had been done....

Time Flew By...

2010-07-01T05:01:00.000-07:00

I just watched Toy Story 3, which was invited by my friends on very last minutes...what kind of "last minutes"? the movie started on 8.15pm, and i got this invitation on 7.00pm...

Anyway, I'll just point out the plot or something...The owner of the toys, Andy grown up to a 18y years old teenager, and going to college. He are forced to make the decision of how to handling the toys that accompany him since he was a child...Andy decided to take the cowboy toy(don't know the name, i didn't watch the previous two) to the college, the others, well, he doesn't want to threw them away, so he want to secretly to store them at the attic, while his mum accidentally throw the others...so the adventure begin again...

well, the ending are touching, and i do believe that this is the end of Toy Story, or so whatever the story writer said so...but it let me to think of something else beside the ending, plots etc...

Time really flew by, when some of neighbors around my mum's shop asked where am i going to continue my study, and i always let my mum answer the questions, because i do not want to act like very proud people, because most of them are aunties, and in their logic, going oversea, especially UK or US are consider very clever, and rich too...you got the point there...

Then those aunties started to reminiscing, most of them saying like "....wah!!!! your son become so well-grown young man already...before that he was so thin, and short....now look at the height and muscles..."

well, those aunties in my eyes didn't change too much, except the hair color, and the aging pattens that appear on their faces...right now, the start of July, two and a half months to go for me to stay in my hometown, and I am REALLY going to UK...thought the obstacles does appear.....

Officially, my flight date will be 15th of September 2010, the exact time still need to be updated...and i am busying with my Visa application (though I was just lacking three documents and the fund from Kojadi)....

If I settle my Visa application, all I'll be doing probably will be spending the remaining times with friends, and started to pack my things....just like Andy in Toy Story 3....XD

You'll never know unless you are encounter it

2010-06-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

Well, most of my friends knew that i am neither a football enthusiast nor football hater...just that i never understand why the people like to shout "GOAL", "BOO!!!" etc when the match come climax...

Just so happen that one of my secondary school friend is a football enthusiast, and he scheduled so perfectly that after abandoning the badminton session for several consecutive weeks, now joining back and making the haste to the usual spot to watch FIFA World Cup, Korea vs Uruguay...

as his friend, i do not want to extinguish his flame, and excitement, so i watched too, and in fact, this is the first football match that i watch from the beginning to the end....i really mean it, usually i never stare at the screen that broadcasting football match for more than 3 minutes....

of course, i still really don't understand completely what kind of excitement and enthusiasm will be felt during the match, but i still can feel it partially...although i didn't shout "GOAL", because i didn't support neither Korea nor Uruguay. Still, i was hoping that Korea can win because all of us are Asian...XD

maybe i'll try to watch wrestling matches, which i discover it's interesting recently, see whether i'll get excited or not....

The crime physiology deep within me...

2010-06-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

yuck....i am started to think that i become much more violent than before...firstly wrestling, then now like tease the polices....well, not the actual world, but virtual world...

i am talking about the Need For Speed: Most Wanted...just brought it on Saturday, but then the whole Sunday i keep playing, just enjoy the feeling of teasing the polices and evade the pursuits, while try to immobilize police cars, and cost as much damages to the by-passing vehicles...

it's very fun to just doing that.....

I treat you as the way you treat me....

2010-06-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

i just don't understand, I treat my mum as the way i treat with my friends, simply because i do not want so much ways to treating for me to remember...i rather using these brain cells to memorize other matters that's much more important and useful....

then the other day, she ask me how's the progress of the Kojadi loan, then i said, i left the contact number at home (where i am at shop), then she is like distracted or something, obviously didn't listening at all...so i just keep internet-surfing...

Then later, my dad come back from his errands, then he talked about opening an account for me when i am going to UK, then my mum asked again the same question, i answered with a louder volume, then she scold me; "i am your mum, and you talk to me like THIS??!!", i said nothing, but i think my eyes is already blazing with anger, then she shouted again, "WHAT?! ARE YOU ANGER WITH SOMETHING?!"

Then just keep shouting "if other people's mum are better, just go and be their son" , "don't take care your own matters"...things like these...

Then my dad called my sister to ask grandpa to turn back and take me home...of course, she was still shouting when i exited the shop without looking back, what was she shouted? didn't listening at all, because i was too frustrated....

I just don't understand, I am acting nice to you, but you don't appreciate it, rather you just treat me like I am a rude kid....对你好，你就乱乱骂人。对你不好，你又呱呱吵。

in the end, i am the one who gonna be blamed, regardless i was right or wrong at the first place....

I just don't understand....

People do CHANGE....

2010-06-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

well, the people i mentioned are not very particular some one i know....but in fact i am that particular people...

just a very simple sample, i am not very fond of wrestling and pilot-based games like WWE and Ace Combat, but right now i like it...

WWE first, i think it's good when you are frustrated with something, and you want to let go of your rage on some one...this is a good choice because you can stomp your opponents and laugh at it while no one is really get hurt...in the latest series of WWE 2010, it can let you build your own wrestler and move sets that can let you "torture" the computer player....

Move on to Ace Combat, i just it interesting only, that's all....but i can't play it when i am frustrated, because you will get annoyed when the target dodge/counter your attacks and so on....

I still found the WWE is much more interesting....

I don't want to be doesn't mean i can't be....

2010-06-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

I just don't understand, why even my mum still don't understand COMPLETELY my personalities?

1.) I remain silence doesn't mean i don't had any comments, opinions and objections...

2.) I didn't take care the important things first doesn't mean i don't know how to allocate the priorities...

3.) I didn't planned anything doesn't mean i don't know how to plan...

4.) I keep playing the games doesn't mean i am a lazy person...

start from the 1st point:
these occurred quite often recently because i didn't go to school, so i have a lot of time to staying in the shop and helping my mum out when there is necessarily. For this, i being scolded for a lot of time...the truth is, i respect my parents, so I didn't tell them what am i really thinking, the eastern polite manner...from what i can see from the movies, especially the production of UK and US, the children always tell their heart, i envy, and jealous for them able to tell what they are reallying thinking to their parents. But this will never applied on my parents, because they are still "old-minded", keep saying that they are the "absolute right", and have much more experience than me, using the old phase: I ate more salt than you ate rice. Sometimes, I still correct them if they make mistake, but most of the time, they will scold me, no matter what kind of manner i used, anger, joke, mock, kind and everything...

Than the 2nd point:
Just the case happen everyday, since my April Exam result is released. My mum keep command me to search around the informations of loans, scholarships etc, because they can't support me fully to study abroad. And i did, within 30 minutes, and after i scanned through the documents required, i alway stopped and bookmark the website for future usage. Why i stopped? Simply I just need an "unconditional offer letter" from the University of Chester...and chain effect, i'll need my transcript and my letter of completion (the letter that prove i completed my diploma course)...this is where i stopped at my current progress to study abroad...but I don't just sit there and shaking my legs, instead i take actions to apply these documents. And i swear I putted all of my efforts for all of the time...the officers didn't do their works, so what can i do?! keep complaining them and they will just smile at you, said something like under progress...I always plan everything based on their priorities, but what the point my mum keep scolding me i don't know how to judge??!!

Move on 3rd point:
This is what i most frustrated with...i had planned everything in my mind, no matter what...settling things, journeys, gaming, handling important things and everything that's needed to be planned...and back to 1st point, i don't speak them up because i respect my parents, and prevent get scolded if they don't like the plan...i had everything in my mind, and i can judge myself i like to plan everything, if you willing to let me plan...and this is the point where i can always have an argument with my parent...they just don't tell me everything...I want to help them if they are facing some trouble, as long as they can listen my opinion...but they just said "kids don't mess up the adults' matters"...what am i?! A three years-old children?! come on, i am twenty already!! and i had the rights to share my mind, and using an old phase again, "to heads are better then one", even now it's three brains together!!! the ancestors said, the viewers are always having the clearest mind, and i completely trust with it!!! I can't be helped when it's need to be done with my parents, but my plans is always referable!!!!! and my mum just said i don't know how to plan, i just don't want to hurt your honor and feeling okay??!!

Finally, 4th point:
I played games just because i want to killing the times only, and conclude every points above, this is what i can do when there is no customers, no actions that i must taken myself....

and i just don't understand why they can't trust me?! even some of my friends said i had a god-gifted brain with such good analysis skill and planning?!

I wonder if i was a great tactician in my previous life....if had any....

The Flaw in the Plan....

2010-06-01T05:22:00.000-07:00

money is really a matter after all....actually, i think it's not hard to get the money for me to go study abroad, especially i can confirm i can go to UK when the starting of this year...but the low performance issue in TxR College caused endless of troubles....if and only if they can increase their performance, and i got what i want, i think i'll shaking my legs, waiting the flight date and study there....

right now, i had the possibility of can't go to UK study for this year, and what even worst is, I will end up in not getting what certificate that i want....just what kind of stupid rule that a student visa must had a certain amount of money in a bank account for more than 28 days....

right now, i feel very worried, confused, and helpless...this problem bothered me for several weeks already, and i just want to get some comforts from friends...but when i meet them, what they said are actually doing even deeper stabs into my mind...

the old slogan really mean it, "words is the most powerful weapon to cause chaos, even much more destructive than nuclear weapon, and much more serious aftermath after natural disaster"

"why are you here?"
"why you come back?"
"are you going to continue advance?"

naturally, i act like nothing and replied in an innocent, helpless manner, sometime, even joking, and mocking, but in fact, i felt my heart dropped into bottomless dark hole...these kind of questions sound like i am an alien in college, whether it's purposely or just a question popped up in the mind and asked without hesitation....

eventually, i'll forget it because i believe they just curious...so i focus my hollow mind on winning the matches of badminton...but i found it's very pointless when the partner making mistakes, and what's causing my anger, is the partner scold me back for some reason....

in the end, i giving up on that, and i hold a slightest light of hope that my posts on facebook and blog can get some comfort, comments or anything else...but after u staring the screen and keep refreshing the pages, there are no red icon appear at the top of the facebook's bar, and the value of the page loaded in my blog does not increase even one unit, not to mention the shoutmix's latest message is posted like one month ago....

i want to meet them, but i'll get rammed with questions....
i want to call them, just to having a lunch, a gym session, a badminton session etc, but i can predict the replies with absolute accuracy...which is no...

this is very reasonable prediction, since that most of them may take a glimpse, but no time to post a short comment and stay on the page for few minutes...

i started to feel like i gonna become a stranger with them already......

What's the point?

2010-05-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

just nothing very significant, but it does bother me...

just two consecutive night i dream about my friends, and i felt it's very real....

about what? nothing particular, just studying....

Recent Activities

2010-05-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

well, most of my friends continue their respectively advance diploma while i left out...kinda empty and boring because of nothing else to do but to wait the documents issued from college...

so i would take any chance to go out with friends, although most of the time is i invite them. but before i send the invitation, i and foresee the reply, so the invitation never send out. well, i understand the situation, so i rather dont bother them with somethings that not very significant...

i just completed my personal statement, and i am very frustrated from the begin and to the end...this does not suit my style...the problem i faced every time i write an essay is i dont know how to start, but once i done the first paragraph, everything would be extremely smooth, some times even i can't stop writing because the ideas is keep coming...but this time is different, i had no experience for writing a personal statement....now i understand why the tips i searched from the internet having a almost same meaning introduction..."one the most frustrated essay..", "...you would not want to do it again..."......

well, it cost me almost 2 hours to complete it with 480 words...i am not sure whether it's too much or too little...i follow standard format (12 font size and times new roman, single spacing), and it just three quarter full on a A4 paper....well anyway...tomorrow i'll go to college and get it a check from my previous teacher....

Tomorrow will be a busy day....

Unofficially First Advance Diploma Day...

2010-05-18T06:33:00.001-07:00

When I purposely enter the lecture hall late, I was pounded with questions; "eh?! i thought you said you didn't continue to advance?", "huh? why you come to college??", "aei, Xemnas a, Why you come here?!"

My reaction, of course, answered these question without rephrasing; "got three things to do, check result, apply transcript and get a sign on my reference letter."

But in my mind, i didn't tell anyone but confessed at here, "why can't i go back just paying a visit and have a lunch??" well anyway...

I arrived at college by approximately 8.50am, then i stayed at the new CITC lab, to settle several things, waiting the result to release, print out the reference letter, click Facebook, and help my mum to print out the map of route to visit their relatives (with the help of Google map). Simple enough...

Then 10.05am, a little bit late then my schedule because i gamble on the result will be release before i leave the lab, but still the officers' efficiency are disappointing me...i rushed to Miss Cheng's office, mt previous English Language tutor, to get her sign, since she is the one who do the reference letter for me...Thanks You Miss Cheng...XD

After that, I chatted with Miss Cheng a little bit, well, not a little, just less or more than 30 minutes . I was impressed by her, because i never knew she was staying at UK before. She asked me where i study, and how's the fees everything, the usual staffs. After this, she suggested how to use the remaining time at here since that i didn't find a part time job...

She suggested that i should make some friends via any channels at Chester, so that i can get some helps from them i.e getting to know to the surrounding, settle some daily life issues even can get some cheaper or free daily needs like plates, blanket and bed. Well, since i have the channel of agent, and the power of searching other people's blog online, i believe i can know some of the virtual friends within 2 weeks and gather all of the information within another 2 weeks.

Well, Miss Cheng said the whole progress is gonna to take months to complete, but i assure her that i can done it within 2 weeks to know all of the lifestyle of students in Chester, and befriend with the students there within another 2 weeks...it isn't very hard after all...^_^

I leave Miss Cheng's office on 11.05am, then i go to library to check my result. Actually, I am little disappointed because i got all B+ for all of the subjects i took...it's BM, Forensic Science and Business Management. My CGPA rosed from 3.19 to 3.22...not very satisfying...T_T

Around 11.10am, i started to feel confused, what should i do next? Then i had it in mind: go to lecture hall, have a free cold air then have a lunch with my gang. So i purposely make my self panting by running so that i have a reason of being late to enter the lecture hall. Luckily the lecturer hardly to paid any attention to me...

After the lunch, while impressed by my large fried rice already increase the price from RM3.50 to RM4 while i still paid RM3.50, bid farewell to my gang, chit chat a little bit with other friends, i went to Examination Department to apply transcript, then go to SAS office to request the letter that saying i completed Diploma level...then i when back home alone...

Continue to read Trudi Canavan's The Black Magician Trilogy Book 2: The Novice....nice story actually....

Mr Feng Shui in my house!!!

2010-05-14T23:49:00.000-07:00

as title said, my mum bring a Mr Feng Shui to shop, i firstly ignore him first, but soon after i realized that my mum, dad and granny (grandpa go to fishing..) very respect of him. he looked around the shop, gave some comments that i purposely not to heard it. Then he sat down at the counter.

When I stand up, my mum dragged me in, introducing me to him. He asked me to let him to see my palm, and i obeyed. As he examining my palm, i looking at his eyes, well, just ordinary old man's eyes. Then he said out of blue, "don't fight when you age of 22", everybody will be stunned in a very short period. But I didn't said something, then he said something very funny.

He said my fate/destiny is here, and it's is made from last year. I said nothing of course, but i saw my mum looked satisfied. Then he said i'll engage marriage at a very young age. Well, i didn't have a girlfriend, how come will pop up a wife for me?!

Soon, he left with my mum and granny. And i don't understand why.....sweat.....>_<

Genting Highland Trip!!!

2010-05-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

There is nothing very unusual when we go there, just that the LRTs "traffic jam", causing us arrived at the rendezvous place very late, and the bus is gone before we arrived. Because of this, all of the schedules are thrown almost completely chaos. But still, when we arrived at there, we directly check-in the hotel rooms, by breaking into 2 groups, one waiting for check-in while the other have their lunch first.

When everything is ready, we go for our outdoor theme part. First start with Pirate Ship, then went through the Parrot Lane, which we incidentally went through it just for looking for toilets. Then we played Spinning Cups for 2 consecutive times, then the so-called 1st roller coaster in M'sia, Cyclone, the small roller coaster. After that, we played Flying Chairs, then the Corkscrew, the "big" roller coaster. In fact, we want to play the machine that raise you to high high place, then suddenly drop you down one, but due to the unstable weather, the machine is temporarily shut down. Anyway, in the end, we still have the chance to play it.

Well, that's all, going back to sleep again...

Aww man....

2010-05-09T19:15:00.000-07:00

I am not very sure, but just listening to it make my mind thrilled. Some of you said something like before i leave, you all gonna have a gathering for me. Really, by hearing to that, i both hesitated, and touched.

Some may thinks that i feel thrilled is normal, but what am i hesitated for? I am not very sure about it, but when i state it, then you all gonna say i think too much...XD

I hesitated for am i a precious friend? I don't know, because i just do what i feel the most better for somebody that i care of, that's all. All i had remembered is just some fragments of good memories, but there are tons of bad memories, well, not that much actually.

I just afraid that i do not know how to react when it is real, but as long as it don't go too extreme, i think i am fine with it...

Parking Issue again...

2010-05-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

An Aggressive Father +
Pissed Security Guard +
Extremely Low Efficiency and Slow Reaction Maintenance Office =

A LONG LIST OF PROBLEMS +
Foul Mood +
Unnecessary Leg Works

Created by Xemnas Lee, future Genius Interpreter of Human Emotions and Reactions (wakaka o(^_^)o)

I am not bluffing, it's true story, or i put like this; every posts in this blog is true story.

Just something happened when i get back home and the problems arise.

Actually, I have nothing to do for this, i done what i should done, even something that's not in my concern. it's just something that will annoy me, then i'll be dragged into the matters, either willingly or reluctantly, physically or mentally.

For your information, I wouldn't care anything that's not in my business, well at least i do not look at it except i'll figure out the processes, causes, outcomes, solutions, future consequences and interpretation. But i wouldn't say anythings if it is not in my concern. these things come in within minutes, and disappear within another minute, for the case of not in my concerns.

But you could consider that i am kinda gossip people, if i feel interested in that particular matter. But don't worry, i'll judge the matters throughout as well as the consequences etc before i "speaking" aloud. Do not take me as "Lulu"!!! (means blur people)

In fact, i am enjoying judging things, interpret the matters, figure out the solutions, consequences etc. Why i am enjoy you ask? well, simply i enjoy it like you enjoy your hobbies, interested things. You can say that's my hobby.

Some of my friends asked me about i can predict the outcomes, then why your board games such as chess, chinese chess etc skill is suck? Well, i don't like to plan such "brain-consuming" activities, and i not very fond of then as well. But if you ask me to plan your new house's decorations, activities time flows etc, i willingly give my opinions.

Kinda off from topic, but i believe that the matters will be settled when the annual meeting of the resident area is carry out on 18th of May...because i gonna pin point the problems...haiz...wasting my precious sleeping time....T_T

What the F**k!!!!

2010-05-04T22:21:00.000-07:00

I do not understand, what's the point of this cold war that break out just for the parking issue?!

The consequences include i upset my secondary school friends, i can't go for my usual jogging for three days in a row, the couples did not speak to each other, and i start to feel annoyed.

For the first consequence, is the one i felt most frustrated with. The girl that gather everyone last week just want to have a small gathering for secondary school friends to tighten the bond. I didn't replied her directly, because i scare of boredom. But later, i make the appointment for her. but just about i going to sleep, the war break out, and i completely lost the mood. and i had to stay so that i can take care the matter. I am really sorry about that. sometime, things happened and i had to take care of it personally.

For the second result, since there are many events that i want to mentally ignore it, physically ignore it but ethically must be accept it, i can't go for my joggings. this is number two that i felt most frustrated with because if i stop jogging for more than 2 days, the consecutive courses will be troublesome to me because the muscle must be trained within 24-48 hours or else it will be reduced it's power, endurance and shape.

The the third effect. they didn't spoke to each other tensed the atmosphere, which will lead to the next consequence, i feel annoyed. Simple enough without any explanation.

The last one, this is not in the list at first but it'll make its way up to the top. my dad started to thinks that i am the one who should to blame because i didn't settle the things. and his tone is annoying me because i can't fight back. if i do, then a bigger war will be commence. he will say something like "you ask me to do something, i do. But i ask you do something, you'll reject it.", something like that. WTF... it's not my fault, but he just simply blame it to me.

What i want to fight back to him is something like "if you are so brilliant, and i am ridiculously dumb, why don't you do it yourself?!", self-explained what i want to express my feeling. Then he will turn his shame into anger, then scold everyone in the room.

And i can't make a face of i feel frustrated about the things above, then he'll blame everyone too...i hate he is taking a place like king in a throne, and everyone must follow his words, regardless how stupid and absurd it is. I can make my counters, but it'll backfired to my mum, so, i rather stay quite.

Right now, i feel my parents are very childish, they still taking my opinions like shit, useless piece of shit. They do not know how clear i am when i eavedropping their argument. as they said, the viewers always are more clearer than the individuals involved.

How amusing i think,they are not even know how i interpret things in rationally, ethically and reasonable. why do i am the one who been affected so much for this "catastrophic event"...WTF!!!

Parking Issue?!

2010-05-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

Well, as my previous post stated, since my grandparents move in, there is an increment in total number of cars that need a parking in the resident area. Not much, just three, but the parking available that's 2, so that's mean one of the cars (usually is my silvery Myvi) had to park at the visitors' parking. I don't mind walking, in fact, i enjoy them.

It takes about 3-4 minutes for me or longer for my parents approximate 5 minutes to get to the car from my house. But still, there are some inconvenient especially when you need to go out but forced to drive the silver Myvi. When, it require no explanation for inconvenient caused because it's imaginable.

Actually, i did go and apply a entry card(those magnetic card that will allow the user to go in the area), but what's maintenance office said that they need i to write a letter of requesting a new entry card and blah blah blah. I wrote the letter on the spot and a fat guy apparently is the new manager or what so position, as long as he hold most of the authorities guy said he will submit the letter to the head of maintenance office to see whether they approve the applications or not, something like that.

But it's happened few weeks ago, and there ain't any replies yet. Like a stone is thrown into bottomless ocean, just sinking and sinking. Then i don't know what the heck the security guards said to my dad, then my dad "asked"(couldn't find a more suitable word) my mum to go to maintenance office by daytime and ask again.

Maybe my mum's period is around the corner, or actually is the period, or just passed the period, you see, the period the girls will getting their nerves much more easily(or so they said). Or other matters that bother her and caused her have a little foul mood(financial problems, unwillingly spent too much on yesterday's temple festival), then my mum speak in a manner of reluctantly, angry and like mumbling in anger.

Things developed into a small argument, when it's 9pm or so, with the presence of my grandparents sitting in living room. Then in the end, like 12.30am, it become a big big argument, of course my grandparents is asleep. But obviously the arguments wake my granny and me up. For her part, their room doesn't close, and the argument is loud, that's make her wake up. But for my case, i am little surprise, because i wearing my earphone, that plugged into my MP4 player, with some soft musics playing the whole night. I woke up suddenly in fact, my granny already in the conversation with my dad in living room, and my mum pretend to sleep in her room when i peeking. But the things turn worst because my dad eventually speak something like blame himself(i go out and drink alcohol and play with women, his favorite quote), actually i know it's something that speak up when you get angry. Then my mum changed her clothes and attempt to go out, i stopped her of course.

Then my mum go back to room, my dad and granny at the living room. I afraid they will do something "stupid", so i stay awake and sit on a sofa in the small living room at second floor. I didn't go and interpret what they said, but rather, i thinking of the solutions for the problem: Parking Issue. In anyway, I MUST take these thing on myself already, due to several reasons. But i want to know is what is the security guards said my dad, causing him had a relatively furious mood. Maybe that's the source of the meaningless argument.

Enough of the facts, now go to my views of this matter. From what i eavesdropped, i guess to security guards are complaint about the random parking in the resident area. But from my knowledge, three cars of mine doesn't park randomly. there are two cars in the car lot, and my silver Myvi is parked at the visitor's parking, with my expired driving license gave to the guards in order to get the visitor pass to put on the dashboard of the car. I didn't see any problems with that but what's the point of complain the to my dad about the random parking?! Opposite to my house there are a Satia that's always getting in the way because that guy parked outside his house, which is the middle of the road, causing some troubles to park into the car lot. Why i didn't see any actions for that car?? rather settling the matter of the Satia, the guards are annoying my dad that his cars parked randomly. That caused some foul mood to both of my parents.

And as for my parents' argument, my mum might facing some problems as stated on above, so she is talking to dad with a unfavorable manner. And my dad get to his temper, so the argument break out. What i can think is why don't they retreat a step? just because their pride of father and etc causing the argument gradually become meaningless in my view. What they argue about is repeating themselves, like a circle, that's why i must handle the parking issue myself without their interferences. He got his points as well as hers, so what's the point to shout out on each other in the midnight and wake almost everyone up. I don't care us but what about the neighbour's think of the pair? i.e what are they doing or arguing over this not-a-problems problem? shame on you...etc.

Their fire caused their son forced to not having a jogging and can't enjoy a movie time later on...as far as i can see is: 爱得越深，骂地越凶...

Three Relatively suffering nights

2010-05-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Why suffering you ask? nothing particularly, just my mum's mum stay in my house for three nights, put it in short, my grandmother on mother's side. (appear to be longer....)

Since the guest room is occupied by my grandparents on father's side, so she just need to sleep in my room. my bed is queen size bed, but i am not very fond of sleeping with other people by sharing the double bed. but single bed is okay, because i will "flip" myself over the night. if something restrict my movement, i'll just freeze there for entire night. and my backbone is getting on my nerve; i feel very painful when wake up.

luckily,m she just stay for three nights, if she gonna stay longer, then i'll give up on sleeping on my bed, i'll simply sleep at the living room, which is obviously more comfortable. XD

and i just back from relatively long journey from my mum's mum's home, since there are a lot of places to go...started to getting annoyed by the traffic...

My own fantasy story

2010-04-28T20:27:00.000-07:00

simply put, i have the concept for it, but i didn't really put them in words. This mean that i just simply imagine it, especially when i daydreaming.

Right now, by waiting the process to go on, i just put them in words, just to kill the times. The plots, characters, and prologue is almost done, but i really didn't except that to write out a novel, it is not as easy as i thought. First of all, you need a plot, then characters, then the places, finally, when you complete those, you need to put them in words. This also mean that you need to have a great variety of vocabulary, or else you novel is gonna be very boring.

Well, at least i got something to do; read many novels as i can, while studying the new words, synonym etc. Then i'll try to apply the new words into my novel. Actually i can gain 2 advantages by doing that, 1st is increase my english skill, then 2nd is able to express my fantasy story. By the way, if my novel is acknowledged, some magazine or newspaper will buy it from me, then i have extra incomes...XD

So that's all for this past, continue to creating the novel...lol

Emotionless...?!

2010-04-26T21:11:00.000-07:00

Well, my grandparents had moved into my house and stayed for 3 weeks. I am not complaining, and did not have any dissatisfaction, but i did not felt any close relationships with them, the relationship of grandparents and grandchildren. May be the interactions did not occur too much, so i just feel like they are my family, but not very close one, although they are.

My grandfather has a little deaf, so I need to speak louder, not the normal loud, the volume is almost as screaming. Then my grandfather's physiologically thinks that others have some deaf as well, so he too increase the speaking volume. So sometimes, we are look like having an argument but actually, we just having a talk that's all. So here i'll state that i am not scolding my grandfather and so as he, because normally, people will respect their elders and talk relatively soft. But that ain't happening in my house though, so don't take me like i am not respecting elders. I AM respecting them because if i talk too softly, he will thinks that i am mumbling, so don't get the wrong idea.

My grandmother doesn't have the hearing impairments, nor the the other sensory impairment, but the problem is her legs, hypertensions, and a little diabetic. One day I saw the medical report of my grandparents, basically my grandfather doesn't have much problems except the bit higher LDL choresterols, bit higher blood glucose and bit higher uric acid. All these can be controlled by diet, but my grandmother has a little problem. As stated, hypertension, diabetic and legs problem concerning her. Well, that's the old people will face. All of these can be controlled by diet, so my mum somehow complains about do not know how to prepare the dinner.

I am not too picky, but still i don't like bitter vegetables and spicy foods. But my dad is very, very very picky. This and that and this and that, so the dinner doesn't have too much variety.

But to topic, i do not have much of significant feeling toward my grandparents, so some times i ask myself, if they passed away, will i cry out?? Probably no, cold-blooded huh? Just that i din't have too much sadness until i cry. That day my sister said that she miss dad's car(the car is sent for repaint), and i think, "is that so? i don't think like that."

So that's that, i didn't feel too much of the emotions toward the things...One thing though, "Final Destination" had taught me one lesson, always follow the rules will significantly reduce the chances of incidents and accidents...XD

咒怨...

2010-04-25T21:29:00.000-07:00

Actually I want to watch this when it is released, the 10th anniversary of Ju On, but most of my friends gave me various reasons, ranging from busy and don not want to paid and in the end, covering the ear and eyes. So, I didn't watch at that time.

Thanks to PPS, now I can watch it. This movie is divide into 2 parts, the white ghost and the black ghost. On PPS, it's separated into 2, so i watch this consecutively.

After finish, I think, well, average only. The ghosts' appearances does not scary as the Thailand films like Haunted Universities, but rather, the scene they appear is rather interesting. Just the plots. The white ghost part is very messy because it is presented like the form of puzzle, you need to pay attentions to the characters appeared and the time horizons is different from one scene to another. But in the end, the white ghost part is much more "scary" then the black ghost part.

One thing though, there are more characters appear in the white ghost part, i think around 10 or something, while the black ghost part is just 5-6 characters. But i still think that the white ghost part is better than the black ghost part. These stories does not interrelated, but the style of scarring people is still the same, quite predicable.

I never be a spoiler, but i will just do the some of the reviews and comments only, so don't ask me anything about the plots or else it'll just spoil the fun of watching...o poor nanny and that kid to dress up like that...

Am I being too hasty??

2010-04-25T02:53:00.000-07:00

well, about the previous post, the games i mentioned, i just beat them.

Kingdom Heart: Birth by Sleep was beaten on friday, while Suikoden V was done on sunday, mean just now. Well, actually not completely, KH:BBS just partially, i exclude the side quests, extra weapons, bonus bosses that have no significant effects on the storyline. Even if i completely complete it, there's no point because i don't know what the heck is they talking about, eventually, i rather use other people save file to see the true endings. Until this point i completely understand the mystery left behind in the previous 2 releases.

As for Suikoden 5, I done it completely, with a guide of course, there are 108 recruitable characters including the hero you know. By excluding the story-line characters, there are roughly 80++ characters needed to be recruit by doing the side quests, mini games etc. Actually suppose there are 70 playing hours to complete the game as state in the guide i am using, but i done it in just 40 hours, the require time that do not do any extra quests besides the story events. So, am i god?...lol

Tell the truth, i using some cheats only, just 2 of them, quick money and skill point gain. Well the money is almost anything but the skill points are just for extra character stat. So i can finish the game at a faster pace. So it worked in the end. Now i got nothing to do already. Maybe i just play back some old game such as Suikoden 4 or something....

Time for hit the dinner, Bon Voyage....XD

No Titles.....

2010-04-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize that I didn't post any new post for a long time, even this new post i can't even think a title for it. After the exams, i just diving into Suikoden 5 in PS2 and Kingdom Heart: Birth By Sleep(KH: BBS) in PSP.

Actually this PSP is in my possession, but it does not belongs to me. Instead, it's my friend's PSP and i borrow it from him just for play the KH:BBS, just want to try out the new battle system etc. I read the storyline from Wiki(wow!! SPOILER WIKI!!!!), because it's japan version, full of japanese symbol and i just roughly know what's talking about by hearing. But still, the battle system DID surprise me because i am a big fans of the previous 2 series.

Adding the command board, temporarily Drive Form, Finishing Move in early the game(unlike the KH2 which obtained in the middle progress of the game), Dimension Link which is kinda of like summon but you still controlling the character but using other attacks and move etc. And i realize one thing, apparently, the bosses are much more "stupider" then the previous series, just keep defending and actually is not quite hard.

Overall, it's still a nice game and many improvements, either on the game plays or the graphic. Still i am very surprised that why the Square-Enix doesn't release it on PC, PS2 or PS3, by considering the graphic, long storylines (3 separate characters with different style and Finishing but the storylines are roughly the same but the encounter with the bosses is different) and the CG movie etc. With hell for that....

I play PSP at daytime because i forced to stay in the shop, and play PS2 at the night time. Since there is no homeworks, reports, assignments etc(still not get used to this), i am extremely bored if i didn't find something to do. Well, badminton is good but i still need to consider my others friends since all of us study in different courses, different colleges as well.

There is one more thing though, I must hide the PSP from my sister, in order to avoid that she thinks mum brought a new PSP for me instead for her. Well, she can get jealous very easily. So 9am to 11 am is a safe time to play, but then 11am till 12.30pm is not because she is preparing to go to school. After that, the whole day is safe till dinner time. LOL

Right now, i posting the post just to kill time till my sister go for the school, so, good luck for those sitting for the exams and good luck for me too to finish the game within 2 weeks...XD

Resolutions

2010-04-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

I am not sure about the people said about the "resolves" that they found we they feel confuse, but anyway me too also not very sure i found my resolve...

Just so happen that i prepare to sleep, and use my mp4 player to play my favorite Canon plus sound of waves to help me sleep more faster. But during the first 10 minutes of playing(the music is 15 minutes long), I can't sleep. Maybe my brain is drifted off a little bit, but still can't sleep during these ten minutes. Then i had my dolphin to increase the total height of my pillow. Then the rest of the 5 minutes playback, I am thinking, what have i done?

Maybe i were just envied, then this feeling turn into jealous then anger. Then i asked myself, what's the point to get angry with? Maybe that's why my dad always told me that i am very short-tempered, and this characteristic even surpass his temper. Simply put like this, I am much more "shorter"- temper than my dad. So i think i can classify myself as low EQ.

The low EQ doesn't matter very much, but the problem is i want the things go in my own plan. Any flaw and I'll start to get angry. Mentally disorder, perhaps.

Right now i think i am the one who gonna be blame. But fortunately, i will no longer stay with you all anymore. so at least you all can be much more comfortable without me. And right here, right now, i would like to apologize to all of you. I am so sorry that I dare no to make apology in front of you all, because i am not that fearless that you all saw...

Obscured...

2010-04-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

I know something is obscuring my sight, not physically, but mentally.

I don't know what to do, especially i facing a so-called crisis. I can't focus on what i really want to do. In the end, my mind become very blank. As blank as a pure white paper.

I do know what's bothering me, but i did not go and find a solution for it. Mostly is because I started to feel disappointed. At least it is looks like this.

I rather don't want to talk, or i put it in this way: I don't have any motivation, mood and will to talk. When you started to feel very disappoint toward something, you might even not to talk or have any reactions toward it.

This is my current status. I started to feel lazy to do anything except study and gaming. The communications is not in the list. I study for my future career, and i play games is to relax before and after study.

And i realized that many people really didn't pay any attentions to the surrounding. I have enough to answer any repetitive questions. I really wonder, why at that particular time that someone mentions these thing and you all didn't pay attention and take notes or memorize it. Did you all can't survive without me? Do I have so significant influence in your hearts, when it comes to unimportant things? Then when things get serious, i have no more significant influence at all?

Now I really lost every single bits of motivation already. So I rethink, why do I sooooo busybody to do that at the first place? Why don't I keep quite and reject that thing so that I will not feel so suffering at present?

I do not know whether or not I still supported by you all...really...or just it is coming to the end so you rather choose to keep silence for that.......

Haha.........

2010-04-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

So...what a simple post title...But i can't think other title that much more suitable than that...this title is not as positive that you can think, the dots behind it is really expressing my feeling right here, right now. Quite complex huh? The word just merely express my whole feeling, the the entire title can really show what kind of feeling i am having because I am not the type that I'll confess/tell/express my feeling that easily...

Actually, what i want to emphasize is actually i feel i am kind of left out for the group. Some obstacles hardly a challenge to shaken my sky-rocketing mood, but i start to think that i can't fit in the conversations anymore...not more...

Previously, i am the one who start up the topics and conversations. People tend to gathering around me easily, at the beginning only...at the late stage, i am no longer fit in the group, like when all of us go out for a lunch, people have their talks, but not including me.

So far i can only came out 2 reasons why I being left out. First, which i think is the most reasonable and much more solid answer than the second one, my personality. I realized that when introducing to the others, and we starting to form friendship between each other, I am shy at that time, actually i am not that open-mind and willingly to express my whole personality to others. But when the time flow, my personality starting emerge one after another. So, in the end, I mostly end up alone.

The second reason, which i feel it's kinda absurd, is I am going to UK, that there is no point to get close to each other. Even i think this is very meaningless....

As long as i can see, there are no ways that i can confess myself. I have three choices, college friend, family and secondary school friend.

I directly ignore the choice of family because i do't want them worry one more thing, either is inferior or important thing, this will simply increase their burden. So, off with the family. And for friends, either from college or secondary school, I am not fond at express myself, so how do i tell them? I usually go out with my secondary school friends for movies and badminton, so what's the point to spoil all the fun? Then the friends from college, the answers that i can expect from them after i confess the feelings is, "you think too much", "没有咯，人都是酱子的咯", or the worst, ignore me and continue to other topics.

So, what to do? Throw everything to blog, let those want to see, so be it. I want to cry but the tears wouldn't drop. I want to scream but the others will comment me like i am insane. Actually I really want to confess my feeling, but there are something that inhibits me to do so, and i don't want to affect the others' moods. Someone is gonna say i think too much again.....

What do you think?

2010-04-01T05:44:00.000-07:00

What do you think of your parents? This simple question can rise up many answers.

I know is not good to bad-mouth own parents, but parents are not saints, not gods. They are just simply human, human that lived longer than us, the teenagers. They had more experience that us, saw much more things than us, eat more salt than us...

What I want to emphasize here is, parents can make mistakes, regardless it's a big mistake or a small mistake, but it's still a mistake. What drive me insane is my parents are very opinionated and like to looking for troubles...

It's just happened yesterday, when my mother and I enter the security check point of my residential area, the security guard give me a notice. it's about the barred entry for not paid the maintenance fees to the maintenance office. After i translate the notice, my mum started to scolded me, "what the hell they are doing?! I already paid the fees till March?! Why the office said want to bar the entry?!"

First of all, it's not my fault, and i get scolded for nothing, i just do the translation part only. Secondly, she can just simply ignore the notice since she cleared the debt, this kind of letter always following by a phase, "please kindly ignore the notice if the payments is made". I thought my mother know this kind of things because it's always there from the bank statement/ installment statement/ statement of account from suppliers. I don't understand why she is so angry with that letter.

Then, this morning, when i fletched my mother to shop, when passing through the security check point, my mother asked the guard, it's the same guard that give us the notice. I stopped her with loud voice and explain the things. Then when i drive through the check point and turned a junction, my mum suddenly shout, " WHY U SPEAK LOUDLY TO ME?! I AM UR MUM AND YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THIS!! WHERE IS YOUR MANNER?! WHAT THE HELL IS THE TEACHERS TEACHING YOU THE PENDIDIKAN MORAL?!"

I give a silence reply, and she keep scolding me along the way to the shop. On the way i though,"why you always like to looking for troubles?! The guard just doing his job, that is distribute the notices under the order of the maintenance office, the easiest way to distribute it is sit at the check point, give every car the enter the residential area the notice, simple. It's not his fault to give the notice, it is just a notice after all, not forcing you to pay the money. Plus the guard do not know which house owner is in debt with the office. So what's the point to ask the guard a question that i gave the answer to her yesterday?!

So, Vexation. It's a new word i learn, it's mean that something or someone that causes anxiety; a source of unhappiness. I just use a louder voice to explain it again, then she went insane. Then when i get back to shop, she is still like this. She told my father after the dinner, then he said the same thing. So, opinionated. 自以为是 is in the chinese form. I lazy and avoid to defend myself. Otherwise they will scold me for another reason.

Actually I am kinda of boring already. My mum didn't tell the whole story. She just tell my dad I speak loudly to her in this morning. I anticipated this kind of matter will occur, just a matter of time. If they rather don't want me to talk, I can just be a Silence Man as they wish. And I started to feel that they think i am just a parasite. A parasite that eat the rice and money. And I think my disappearance will make them happy and make celebration.

So, starting from today, I'll just act like somebody that can't talk at all...so this will fit my dad's word..."sew up my mouth"

Are You Ready???

2010-03-30T05:54:00.000-07:00

Or rather, am I ready to go to UK??

Looks like my mood is going a very high stage then suddenly fall down at a exponential rate, just simply my mu keeps mumbling, then scolding, the bluffing...said that I am still naive, not prepare yet for going to UK, don't know how to judge the things whether it's important or not, not serious in handling the matters, take the matters very lightly, didn't take care own hygiene, don't know how to take care my own things, keeps playing without doing something that meaningful, and the list going on endlessly. Along the way from the shop till home.

I know she may had a bad day, or perhaps Aunt Visit, maybe somethings pissed her off. So I choose silence, keep bitting my own lips, calm my temper, preventing them bust out then having conflicts...

I know what stressed her, the financial problem. It's not my mum fault, just some stupid/retard customers didn't pay their debts, causing the shop's financial turnover not very well. So that's the problem. But I still want to add-on. Firstly, I feel my parents spend too much of money in cigarette and beers, and the money to treating the friends to eat/drink. Just take an example, yesterday my family and i went to the taoism day dinner gathering(something like this), my parents keep ordering the beers, each bottle costs RM10, and approximately 4 to 5 cups full will finish the beers. If they drink for their own, i have no objections, but they treat their friends, one bottle and another till the gathering finish. I believe they finished 20 or more bottles...so, RM200++ gone....those friends of pigs and dogs...(猪朋狗友）

I don't know how to raise the objections to them, since that i learn that last time I advice them get scolded for nothing for an hour, said something like it's their money, they can do whatever they pleasant...So, if they save the money to treating the friends, i do believe they can save lots of money, even can support me to UK for 2 years...

Until this point, i can't said i am ready to UK, but I think my family is not ready too...right until here, the worst decision i can made is rather go for the UK, i stay for advance diploma for 2 years, make my own money to UK, rather then ask for them, or apply loan...

And I think, my parents don't want me to go to UK, after saying all these....

Alternatives..?!

2010-03-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

First of all, i didn't think about any alternatives since i am decided go to UK, but, on yesterday, 28th of March 2010, for the first time, my determination to UK is shaken, even giving up to UK...

Actually, the biggest problem is financial problem, if my result is distinction, then the money is not a problem. But i am not that clever, hardworking, and my result is just a little bit above average, so i think even though i get the scholarship, but still it wouldn't be 100%, maybe just 50%(at most) of the fees. And this particular 50% of the fees i need to get it on my own. I don't think my parents can support me this huge amount of money, ever my grandparents move in to my house, the burden on my parents' shoulder become more heavier.

I don't want to make them so suffer like this, but on the other hand, I want go to oversea to study. Family and career, which one i can choose?!

In my own view, go to overseas cost is higher at the present, but in the future when i graduate, i can make more money. But when I think another way round, study at the local can reduce the burden on my parents is lighter at the present, but in the end i can only end up in Malaysia's police department( which is lesser paycheck and the competition of getting the job is higher...because of the government policy...damned with the special right of bumiputra, where the hell is the Satu Malaysia?! ...>_<).

Right now i have three choices. 1st, UK. 2nd, USM(maybe...). 3rd, Advance diploma.

Actually, I haven't reveal my worries to my parents. But based on my understanding to them, they probably want me go to UK, by taking the scholarship, and the loans.

I need some times to think about it, and I need to gather some information from my father's friend, see whether can I work in PD with diploma certificate, or advance certificate is better. At my current state, I don't want to go to my career so soon, but at the same time I don't want my parents carry this burden as well...so what to do?!

After a Very Long Run...

2010-03-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

phew... after a long day nonstop rushing, today finally i have a chance to make a post...

actually, when i really think about it, i am not sure my group is lucky or rather, unlucky at all...

we met a very good BM teacher, and a very good Business Management tutor...let's start from BM tutor first

to put the words more mercy, she is very nice, easy-going tutor. But when it's come to another way round, forgive me to stab her back, she is lazy, not very responsible tutor...why i comment her like this? just simply she is a Malay after all...XD

Initially, my group should done a presentation last week, the 4th week, but she attaining a training, so delay to 5th week, which mean, this week. So now i have 1 assignment and 1 presentation on 5th week.

Next, talk about Business unit...initially, we should pass up the case study assignment, but the lecturer and tutors receive the feedback that about the case study is very hard, can't understand at all and blah blah blah reasons, so delay to 5th week first tutorial session...so, add up i have 2 assignment, 1 presentation to done at 5th week.

Now, come to Forensic Biology part, Mr. Leong part. Supposedly, the mid-term test should be at 4th week, first lecture session, but on 3rd week Thursday lecture, he didnt come for the lecture(playing FB i suppose?!), so the part should be done for the test delay again...so the test forced to move to thursday, BUT!!! the talk about the advance diploma thing delay it again...so, 5th week thursday for mid-term test....total up till here, 2 assignments, 1 presentation, 1 mid-term...

Finally, come to Forensic Chemistry part, Dr.Chong part...well, he just kinda sloppy type, and he decided the mid-term test are carry out at 5th week Thursday session...GRAND TOTAL: 2 ASSIGNMENTS, 1 PRESENTATION, 2 MID-TERM TESTS!!!

uh huh...what a busy week, well at least the 5th week is passed half way already...i done the assignment and presentation part(i think the presentation didnt goes very well since it's in BM, if in English...hahaha), now what's left is 2 mid-term tests. I am not afraid of the Dr. Chong's part, since the calculation only, just my eyes need to be clear...but the Mr.Leong's part...well, i am kinda lazy to read it, glaze through may be works...XD

time does flow, in a very fast rate, just like blinking speed...i still can remember 2 years ago, my second visit to the TAR College, to take the registration form, right after the release of SPM result...lol, so naive and nostalgic when i am lost in college...

the diploma is gonna end soon, and the things that can make me remember all of the friends can say it's 80% done, the remaining 20% is gonna be difficult...i am not very fond of expressing myself actually, but still i can express it on words, typing words, not the speaking words, it just make me kinda embarrassing...

now i can really feel what's they are feeling when they graduate from college...like those dramas, the school's a;ways broadcast the Canon in D when the Graduation is going on...when i listening the Canon, i feel very...dont know how to put it in words, but that kind of feel is kinda sad, yet happy, want to cry, but yet keep smiling...something like that.

Actually, i like to collect different version of Canon, i have the rock, piano, violin, pipe organ, harp, techno even Erhu version also is one of my collection. I can't particularly state the reason why i like it, people said this is kinda blindly love...well, something like that...

among these version of Canon, the violin version is the one that touch me most...especially the graduation is near...well, actually i am very envy that almost all of my gang members are gonna stay together, and looks like i am the one who gonna left out...XD

every people choose their own path, the others just can give advices only, the decision is on your own hand, i can't force them and so do they, what i can do is just do anythings that can keep the memory and enjoy and most importantly, enjoy the college life....lol

These few days...

2010-03-17T04:34:00.000-07:00

after several days of silence myself unless important situations take place, i realized that shut up is not that hard after all...especially when you are facing many pressures at the same times...

i just received a sms saying that somebody is facing financial problems and can't support anymore, my mind become very blank, sitting there, the brain is thinking how to solve this...

become i typing this post, i merely come out a solution, though is not a perfect one, but still, i need some support. but i afraid i will not get the support from family right now, especially mention about the things that i planed recently...

i decided to give her fisrt, the money...well, using the investment method will be a better solution rather than do nothing, since the order is placed, and there is no turning back already...

actually, i am experimenting somethings, see whether it'll work out or not...so far the results are acceptable, at least it's not that miserable as i were expected...now i shall share the conclusions...

talking jokes can really fools you parents, especially you have somethings that you do not want them know...this can be support by the fact that i did not tell them that i keep silence, but still they did not know what's happened in my college's life.

some times, you can really test out which friends are really taking his/her hearts to be friend with you, means willingly want you to become his/her friends, by simply make some actions that out of your personalities...THANKS YOU MY FRIENDS...you are there when i were in the mists, keep wondering about where's the exits, give me some directions and advices and help me to get out with it...

keep doing excercises would not help you to clear you mind, in fact, it may further confuse it...supported by i keeps jogging these few days and yet i still feel very messy...

think before act, this is the most important conclusion that i can draw...these days, when i keep silence, i am still imagine if i do this, what will be the result, and how about the other ways and their results...i can imagine at least 2 consequences when i do a particular action, which makes me kinda clear in mind when the same situation comes at future and what'll be the consequence...so, rather talking nonsense that will hurt people, why don't i talk something that's more better and nicer?

it's gonna end now, the diploma level in TAR College, this is nearly end of the week 4, next week will be the last third week that we can study together, i do believe Group 3 is gonna scatter...i'll go to overseas, some of them stay for advance diploma, some of them go for another university or college for further study, some of them may go to work directly...thinks that may be i am the only one who will go overseas after the diploma level huh....absurd...hopes we can still stay connected via Facebook and blogs...though i'll continue the this blog that share the happiness, sadness, angry, disappointment, supports, encouragement and etc...

i realize that i am the type that need more supports than the others, though i didn't look like that. sometime, although it's just a very short comment, but still can brave myself to make the decisions, do something that i am afraid of...pathetic...maybe the horoscopes are really accurate after all...some people said i do not look like a Virgo, so i told them, my birthday is 23rd of August, what do you think? half Virgo and half Leo? or simply Lioness?! proud, seeking glory, sociable, outgoing, active, "love face" can be found on Leo people. tender(?), like clear, serious, careful, like to guess people's heart can be found on Virgo people. and half of these traits can be found on me. especially proud...

after this, i want to make a change...so just wait and see...

i am sorry my friends, sorry ti trouble you all, sorry to make you all worry, sorry...

My Decisions in my College Life

2010-03-15T04:45:00.000-07:00

By looking at the last post's date, i realized that i didn't post too much after all. But here comes the new post...

2 years ago, right after i attended the mass call in college hall, i were wondering, what kind of people will i meet? many people said that the friends that you made in college can cause a significant change in your life, your view and your future as well. after read this, my mind were tumble, i afraid my future will be shaken and then i will fall. after the that day, there were a briefing about the college's rules, examinations' rules and much more. right after that, comes to my first decision in my college life.

the newly assigned course representative by senior, Justin Benedict Webber, assistant course representative, Goh Tee Kim(who is the my first course mate i met) were holding a course meeting to choose group leader. at that time, i randomly choose to sit at the first row where my group members are all together. when Justin mentioned about to choose who should me the group leader, one of my current gang member, Yuuji said aloud," the first guy at the front will be the group leader."

then my heart is beating fast, at all of a sudden. i looked back, seek for the voice, i smile at him, so do him(kinda silly, since at that time we didn't know each other). at that time, i want to be a group leader, but still i am still afraid, afraid of being rejected by the others, afraid of i am a worst group leader(this is what i think now). i braced myself, step in front and "partially" voluntary to become the group leader. this is my first decision in my college life, which is significantly affecting my life after all.

so, i planned in mind, if i met someone that is having a great potential to be a group leader, i'll resign and let he/she to do it. unfortunately, my group did not have this kind of people. all i saw is having one of the potential to become a group leader.

The one with the same name that i met at least 3 people at that time has the so-called "aura" of a group leader, but the personality of difficult to contact in the time of need forced me to rethink.

I do not see any potential to become a group leader in the one who has the name changed when this member young. so i have to rethink again.

The one who once scolded me can handle many things very smoothly, especially when it's come to make a important decision. But what i afraid is this member is kinda lack in confident when come to the public speaking, so rethink again.

The one with over active personality is having the most potential to become a group leader. But when i ask this member, i were rejected immediately, saying that wants to be the strategist, rather than the leader.

The biggest brain winner can handle the things very carefully, since that this member is a Virgo. so i can entrust the title of group leader to this member. But this member rejected too, the reason is unknown.

so there's the problem, including me there are 17 people in my group but the others except the people i mentioned do not have the potentials, even there is, still is not as strong as them. so what do i do? i continued with the title of group leader. this is the second important decision that i made.

then, i were confused. at the last time, all of my group members supported me, i dont know they are unwillingly or they really support me from the hearts. i dont think all of them are really support me, maybe they just lazy to elect a new group leader. some of them said i think too much. Did i? every things i thought are just some meaningless, stupid, retard thoughts? why all of you support me at that time?! you can just simply said "oh you this inferior human being, give the title of group leader to other people already!!! you stupid retard!!", or "why dont you go to hell and rest in peace so that the group leader title can go to the others?". i really want to know what are you all thinking about, so that i can leave without any guilty feeling...

now i am starting to get very guilty, my mind are very messy. i dont think i am a good group leader after all. and this is not the first time i think like this. and after today's classes, i do really curse that why the Business Organization and Management unit do not come early at the semester 1 in first year, so that at least i can learn something from it.

Previously, i feel very boring toward the books that about the leadership, management skill etc and even consider it as junk. who would like to bother to read this kind of books except for business people such as CEO, manager. now i realize not just business people would like to read this kind of book, others can read it too. now it is useless since i gonna leave this college, with the title of group leader carrying at my shoulders. The title that i really want to drop now. This is my third decision. Will be the last one as the group leader. Then, from now on, i refuse to talk when there is unnecessarily, my fourth decision in my college life...

Boundaries

2010-03-01T04:36:00.000-08:00

first of all, when i posting this, i feel like you all must feel boring about it, so just simply ignore it 'kay?!

thinks that every things have this things, the boundaries...but i am the one who didn't really realized the presence of this particular thing...so you can say i am a person that kind of blur blur one...

this is what my friend told me, he said that my eyes look very different when playing video games, especially those game that require very good respond etc, like Kingdom Hearts 2, when i fighting the bosses, the eyes looks just different.

this give me a shock, just like somebody said i am not the people that i suppose be...kinda like the interesting story plot. for me, this sound like some of the scenes in Tales Of the Abyss, that the main character, Luke is just a replica. so i trying to remember what i am thinking, doing and processing when i playing the games...

so i come out a relative stupid conclusion, i think i am drive by the instinct, the instinct of proud, the instinct of hunger of triumph, instinct of don't want to lose. kind of becoming a beast, but i am the one that "when this is what i good at, then i do not want to lose, at least i am taking you with me. if i can't win, so do you" kind of people...

maybe this where the my personality boundary cut at, one is the beast-like me, then the other is "sociable, happy-go-lucky and win or lose, doesn't matter" me, aka friendly me.

this is what my mum said to me, when i was kid,"if you put the strength in your study, like when you playing the useless video game(that time is PS1), then your result will be like genius!!!"

so for me this sound like,"if you didn't get a satisfied result, then you'll be prohibited from playing games!!!", so i just unwillingly study, just to play games...

if i am not remember wrongly, i am good at fighting games, like Street Fighters, Digimon World etc, those games require not only good responses, blinding speed finger movements, as well as strategies. so at that time my finger is just like having some injuries, very painful. then now, i am still the same case, good respond, high speed finger movement and own-plus-online-equal-to-perfect strategies.

now i think possibly i am very good at Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix + game, when it come to bosses, i feel like they are nothing, but the other thinks that "OMG!!!! this boss is insane!!!"...

when i watch those similar video on Youtube, i feel like they are stupid, using inappropriate equipments and strategies etc, you should feel lucky because i don't know how to capture high-res video...or else i'll show you what is the best ways to defeat the trash-like bosses...

back to topic, i just feel like the boundary of these personalities is started to merge, blurred and i found out my self that i can clearly feel there is a gap between my friends and i. i feel like i am not part of them anymore, not like the previous times, that i feel i am part of you, and i can understand your feelings, your thoughts and your characteristics. since the new semester commenced, i feel i am "clearly" cut from my friends....

when i am looking at them, their faces, their thoughts, feelings is not like before, i can feel it, like it's just before me. maybe the gaming and self-isolation gets me....

My Feeling...?!

2010-02-15T10:33:00.000-08:00

thanks for the CNY, now my schedule is going completely chaos...the day that suppose to be going for a jogging is cancelled due to the over-comsumpted stamina and lack of sleep...the day suppose to start to packing for the trip to PD is messed by the parents' friends visiting and forced to do it in one night...now i even feeling like i dont want to sleep anymore, even i am exhausted, pissed by the baby cousins' childishness, feeling boring toward any entertaiments that i have...

after reading an article, i am seriously thinking about how to express my feelings, either it's good or unpleased...but i find out that due to enviromental factor, i am always hiding my feelings, regardless it's unconsciously or intented to...guess what is that particular factor? it's my mum...and my dad too.

my mum teached me that 'special skill' in many ways, scolding, telling with anger, telling with tears, even with a cane(when i small though...^^), whereas my dad teached me in one and only and his favorite way, capture me, wanted to chat with him in a relative forcefully way...

so with that, i can easily to lost my temper, if i want to, and everythings that seldom or never come out from my mouth can be appear from it, and i can completely close my mind, letting you having the hypothetically guessing...

and i just realised that i having 2 completely different personalities, one take place in meeting the friends, like in college or hang out with them. the other one take place in meeting with my relatives. in college, i become very talkactive, playful till naive, but when i return from college, i just want my personal dimension, without anyone disturbing me to do my works, playing games alone.

now you may ask, what if my family members meet my friends in public places such as shopping center or vacation spots? well, depends on which party that i follow at the first place, so that particular personality will take place. kinda creepy huh? even now i suspect i am having Dissociative identity disorder (DID).

based on the wikipedia, Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. The diagnosis requires that at least two personalities routinely take control of the individual's behavior with an associated memory loss that goes beyond normal forgetfulness; in addition, symptoms cannot be the temporary effects of drug use or a general medical condition.

so, base on that, i am not having the DID, but if my assumption is correct, everyone must be having the same condition like me, whether it's just once a while only or daily rountine...i wish this ridiculous assumption goes wrong...here i go again, making nonsence hypothesis...

maybe i'll just clear my mind, and sleep

i want to know is there any Zen classes for free? i want to join...

Tiger WooHoo...

2010-02-09T19:17:00.000-08:00

as a local made movie, by considering they having a low budget when making this movie, overall it's nice...

just after the saddest part, the plot went ways too smooth, get what i mean??
dont say me i am a spoiler, after the Ah Beng, Ah Rain and Ah Huat decided to turn back to trained to play the tiger dancing things, there are no significant difficulties to stop them...i think it's the low budget thing drag them down and cause the movie become relative shorter than the others...

at least there is a lot of laugh and the tiger is cute too...XD

BIG RENOVATION!!!

2010-02-03T05:06:00.000-08:00

well, i can't say i am a hardworking+like-to-be-clean person, but i am not lazy+dirty person either...

after i took my mum home from the shop( and she keeps scolding my sister about her messy room, and very indirectly scolded me too...T_T), i decided to clean up my rrom once more, if my memory served me correctly, the last time i clean up my room is on 26th of December 2009. not too far, yet not too short period to get messy again...well actually last time i were throwing out all those useless junks, scrapes etc to make more spaces. and soon after that, the exam period is around the corner, so my notes is rather scattered everywhere, especially the notes of the unit that i done the exams...at least i have a very good reason of not to keep my room tidy...

but now the exam passed, so this reason is no longer valid. and since the CNY is around the corner, why dont i take this chance to do some cleaning job? so that on sunday i can play whole without worrying the clean up jobs..so i just had to collect all of the notes, arrange them in my own system, and re-design my arrangement of the elements of my rooms, especially the destination of the notes.

when i try to compressing my tons of notes, my mum coming, said something like the feels is lies between compliments and bad comments, like,"wa!!! so hardworking today a? automatically cleaning up ur room" and etc...so you get that feeling...XD... if it takes anythings to stop my mum from scolding people either directly or indirectly, i dont care it and do it at once...middle-age women get angry very easily and scary too...T_T

my room...relative big...i think so?!

so she gave another container, to keep all of my notes, books and some magazines, and the previous container will be filled by miscellenous things like chess board, keyboard. after rearranged the books, notes etc, i realized that there is still a lot of spaces to put some decorations. but for my style, i rather put some novels, and entertaiments applications...the biggest problem is no $$...T_T

well, thinks that i gonna take a bath to clean my body, it's sweaty and smelly when i trying this post...by the way, did i mentioned that my mum likes clean at everywhere, even though she is Aquarius and i am lies between Leo and Virgo?

The Days...

2010-01-28T19:01:00.001-08:00

it's seem that the weight on my shoulder(well, i didnt have a better description...actually i just feel kinda releive) is removed since 27th of January, coz the last unit, statistics is done. with that, i am going back to boring shop, doing nothing with my stupid laptop, facing the stupid customers...haiz...

at least i can feel that in this exam, the biology subject will be the lowest marks among the others, and the statistic will the the highest...just some non-sense prediction from me...well, at least i tried...nah, forget it...

let's move on to the yesterday trip.
start from 12.45pm i reach the Time Square, then Karaokay, then movie, the walking non-stop...to take picture and walk to the KLCC just just an easy trip to back to wangsa maju LRT station...

well, what i know is, most of the songs they picked, i can sing, but i cant just simply keep holding the mics, hahaha...at least the previous karaokay experiences help me to keep sang...XD

then move on to the movie, Haunted Universities, a horror moie from Thailand. i rate it 5 out of 10 based on the story line structure, level of horror etc. actually it would not have this mark if the makeup of the ghost is not that scary, ugly enough. the storyline is quite messy, but i admire theur makeup, especially the is one scene, the doctor need to examine the burnt corspes, they all the dead bodies "woke up", i like this so-called ghost, zombies is more proper i think....well, at least what i can feel is that this movie's ghost looked just like the Zombies from Left 4 Dead...

well, that's all...i think...

what kinds of day it is...

2010-01-22T05:09:00.000-08:00

it's just me or everyone is so depressed??

just done the properties of matter paper and everyone said that it's very difficult. but i think it's not that hard, except some of the organic part that i purposely skip it. i am not regret of that because first i am not intereted in organic chem, secondly and lastly, the prganic parts did not come out that much, just total of 15 marks i thinks, and i can almost claim 9 marks or lesser. luckily i do a brief scanning on the reaction between ester and Grinyard reagent, or else i may just score 5 marks...

i can said for sure, since as they said, higher the hope, pain-er as drop. but i have the cofidence of definite i would not fail this unit, and the posibility i score a B+ is relative high. well whatever.

the following paper will be the bio paper, this is as almost same case as the chem paper...very good at the hald part of it and the other part may die...i think i can do very well in microbiology part, but not in chem for life part, and there it's go again...organic chem...one of my most hated unit....

some of my friends said they are interested in this kind of things, but not me...may the godness of luck smile at me, the exam come out the part that i am still have a little interested...

as usual, i take care my my family-run shop, get pissed by some annoying customers, the pissed again by the stupid stupid drivers on the road( wonder why they cant drive faster???), back to room-sweet-room...maybe i will start the study...well, who know?!

my symtoms before the Exam...

2010-01-16T05:31:00.000-08:00

it's just me or every one have some special symtoms before, when and after the Exam?!

i gonna blame myself that why i always will be addicted to something besides the study stuffs!!!

firstly, i addicted to a french animation, Alpha Teens On Machines(A.T.O.M.), i cant point out exactly why i suddenly want to watch this animation. i watch it before, on Astro, and i were just "if have a right time, right place and right occasion happen, then i watch". i am not really addicted at that time, but now...well thing does change are they. if my memory serves me correctly, last time the exam i were addicted to a game, Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis, a sedden addiction and without reason/s like this time too. well, may be my sub-conscious want me to do this....XD

Secondly, i always have some minor illness, not very serious, and it'll recover before the main unit exams. this time, is the "pimples in mouth", coughs and can't sleep well. the so-called "lack of sleep" case is just a normal case, i always wake up at 5-5.30 am. it's getting serious when the main unit exams is around the corner, can early until 4am... and i'll never feel tired until 11pm till 12am..

i cant remember the minor ilness that occurred in last exams, but the "lack of sleep" is still there, i remember very well. woke up at 4am and play the game...maybe not the exams thing cause this, is the addiction of random things...because yesterday i keep dreaming about the ATOM animation...T_T

and for the first time, i finish my History-related unit exam at a very piece-of-cake mood, especailly in the essay parts. i always blank the paper in my secondary school exam, i can pass because of the MCQ part...

Christmas + New year + Exam + My real motivation...?!

2010-01-01T16:40:00.000-08:00

it's kinda strange, i suddenly had the motivation to study, the problem is, i didnt have the motivation to exam. but i fmy grade is not good then how can i go UK to study my forensic?! so this gonna relate to the exam. so one day i asked my friends, what's their motivations to study in the exam.

First one, "i dont want to lose. my will to win is very high(好胜心). then when you climded very high in the ranking, many people want to to fall down, and waiting to fall down. and as a hobby as well." this is an answer from girl, you may know who she is already at this point.

Second one, "i want scholarship ma, to go to UK to study. so i want high grade to have the scholarship lo."

3rd one, "just dont want a poor grade."

three people, from three different hometowns, three different grades, give me these answers. so i asking myself, what is my motivation to study before the exam, this motivation can be same or different from my motivation for my motivation to go to UK. but the thing is, i hate to revise what i know, and when i read through(more precisely, scanning through, flip through without really reading the whole pages.), what i revised does not come out in exam, and another way round. sometime i am really annoyed, that's why i hate to stay in the exam venue after i done and checked my paper, not even for 5 minutes. so sometimes i really rush especially near the 30 minutes before the exam finish. i can sacrifice my checking my paper, because i know what i know and what i dont know in the exam. i dont know is dont know already, even i sit there for 30 minutes and i would not get the answers, that's why i rather skip the questions forst then see wherether i got some extra times to think about it.

think that i gonna study hard for now.

seems that i am not the only one who celebrated the christmas and new year alone. although some of my secondary school friends invited me, but i rejected, because we are not that familiar when in my secondary school. just only some of them, the usual gangs. but they just brought miserable to me, rather brought happiness to me. firstly late, promised time is 10 and they show up on 10.45. what kinds of friend like this?! luckily i still had my of them accompanying me, or else i rather go back home and sleep early. i just dont want to type anymore. just thinking about can boil me up.

that's why i rather goes through the christmas and new year as they are nothing, like a normal day. and now i think that i should complete the remaining assignments and reports.

by the way, i got a new MP4 player as christmas present from my coursin.

My future.....

2009-12-21T03:09:00.000-08:00

well, on 20th of December, my family and i went to the PWTC. the main purpose we went there is to see the Satu Malaysia Food Exhibition. but when we went through the gate, lifts etc, i saw the posters of the NanYang Education Fair. Luckily i accompany my family to PWTC, or else i gonna missed the critical step of my forensic scientist carrer...

well, better start from the Food Exhibition 1st.

I woke up as usual on 8.00am, so i goof around the house and the resident area, having the frozen bum(cooked one la) and a cup of milo as my breakfast. usually my family woke up very late, but that day, the neigbour is knocking somethings on the wall. my dad certainly will shout at first. for the first shout he gave off, i though is dream talking, but for the 2nd time, i knew something's goes wrong. i didnt heard the knocking noice, but as i approached my parent's room, i knew what happened.

after that, all of them wake up, and i think: walau, usually wake up very late, but not today...XD.

so i followed them to PWTC for the Food Exhibition. we went through all the stalls, had some mini games etc, then we took big bags and small bags(loots!!! lol...all is reduced prices one) to the education fair.

what surprised me first is, i saw the TAR College is having a stall near the entrance!!! haha, as i went through, a girl gave me a calender, and when i said i am a Tarcian, she stunned, then gave me one more calender!!! haha.

and i goofed around the fair, looking for any college or university that provide forensic science in degree etc. as we went to one of the corner, my mum saw her friend, of course her friend recognized my mum too, so they chit chat a bit. actually, my mum friend(well, he is David) now is working under a agency that help the student to explain, provide informations, choose, apply colleges, and apply Visa in oversea cases. and what more is, ALL FREE OF CHARGE!!! haha, but the loan and money things they didnt handle, but they can provide any necessary information to apply loan etc.

we all spend almost 30 minutes in explaining the process, so i goona post here to share!!!

apply college/university with the result in college > receive offer letter from the college/university > apply loan/prepare money > apply Visa(the money thing is to show the UK government as evidence that you really go to UK for study, not jump aeroplane) > go to UK!!! > after 2 years, if have the intention to working in UK, apply Working Hermit(something like this)

so that's that, and i may going to study in Cambridge, well, not Cambridge U, but the college is in Cambridge. first year tuition fee plus all expenses(hostel, eat, etc) cost RM70,000. well, my mum said apply the loan(mostly apply from MCA Education Loan, the reason is the others bank's interest is much higher, the other choice is Bank Rakyat) is for sure, and i promised myself if i go there, STUDY HARD!!! and working part-time to pay my own expenses and next year tuition fees and help my mum to pay the loan too.

so...now i havent send my result to the agency, all these are just for planning only. if success, i may leave on September 2010...hahaha, well, i must study hard now!!!

busy...?!

2009-12-19T16:20:00.000-08:00

it's been a while since the last post, just that i am busy...the busy that is never was...

put it in a more easy to understanding way...i am not sure what am i busy for...quite strange huh? the assignments, presentations, blah blah blah things were done last two weeks ago, but i still busying with somethings..maybe the facebook and ps2 drained my time?! XD

11 December
Winnie's birthday
we had a surprise birthday party for one of my group member, winnie leong wei sim, aka winnie the pooh...the pictures will say the words, as i am working now so can't pay too much concentration into blogging...XD

12 December day time
Granny Coming!!!
well, my mother's mother is coming to my home for a few days, i travelled to setapak and back at that day...sweat, pretty tired for travelling...

12 December night time
Movie!!!
well, i am not the excited as usual when i watch movie with my secondary school friends, Joshua, Eddisson, Fei Fei(nick name of course!) and Wai Hon. Fei Fei suddenly inform me that we gonna watch movie that night. the movie? The Storm Warriors...what a lame+boring+not excited+not interesting+bad visul effects+bad story line+.........the list is non-stop. this is second bad movie that i watch since form 4...the first one is Street Fighter: Chun Li legends(something like this). the only thing that i feel is good in this movie is the Wind(聂风）become demon, the eyes look very well.

13 December
go to ulu yam for a delicious lunch!!!

14 December
travelling is more than i can bear!!!
after go back from Torrent's house, i go back to shop for dinner, BUT, i travel back to setapak just to sent my granny back...sweat...

17 December
Avatar!!!!!
watch the movie Avatar with the same gang again...THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME!!!! STUNNING BACKGROUD! TOUCHING STORYLINE AND MORE!!! WATCH YOURSELF!!!!

18 December
nothing to do in the shop...sian....T_T

haiz...busy to FB abd PS2 again...^_^Y

a why is just a why...

2009-12-09T05:06:00.000-08:00

i am not even sure what am i really doing when i click the new post at the dashboard, put it in short, i dont know what to type but i have the thought of post somethings here. now i am really confuse. this kinds of things really rare to happen to me, but i think i am losing my happy-go-lucky trait now. realtionships with friends, family, the tests, assignments, presentations and the list goes on non-stop.

what i really know is, human can't stay forever as they are. time does flow, people does move, survive, struggle for their thirsts, heart does changes, the earth does rotate, sun does burn. but for me, i wish everything can halt, stop. pathetic, absurd, stupid, naive. even i myself also think i am pathetic. but what should i do?

my friends facing problems, but i cant help them.
my family facing problems, but i cant help them.
even now i facing my very own problems, but i still hestitate for my future, hestitate for my current motivations, hestitate for my current activities.

i may started to sound like i am crazy already...

hollow..

2009-12-07T05:29:00.000-08:00

i wonder, does anyone feel this kind of feeling before? or now? or even in future?

adj

not solid; having a space or gap or cavity

deliberately deceptive

as if echoing in a hollow space

devoid of significance or point

these are the some of the defines from the dictionary

can these apply to human's feeling? or just my imagination? i don't know, i really don't know.

i found up myself is laughing, but am i really happy? or just my muscle invouteerly laughing and the sound just come out? i could feel that everyone is like this, even he or she is your closest one, the best pals, and the soulmates.

why the human is so complex? why the human can't be more simple and easy to understand? just a child, a baby who know nothing but still live very happy without worry? why can't we just stay in our childhood forever and ever till eternity?

is the the civilization caused these things like this? why do i have to sacrified somethings to gain what i don't want? what i want to know is why do we ever exist? can i just end my life to start a new life? can i just vanish, and no one know as i am the oblivion?

some one said that what you think now will affects your future, the god mind-reading theory. so i wish everythings will turn to nothingness.

CAN SOMEONE END MY SORROW? AND MY THIRST OF NEW LIFE?!

Sins Harvest.....

2009-11-24T03:29:00.000-08:00

humans, just merely a mixtures of some chemical elements. Carbon, Oxygen, Hydrogen, Calsium, Magnesium, Nitrogen etc. but all of these combined, they become human, a living thing that has thought, has mind, has knowledges. all these will produce personalities, kind, evil, sellfish, generosity, nice, grump, active, lazy, outgoing, shy etc. all these will produce moods, happy, sad, love, heart-breaking, jealous etc.

these all will make up a life, either meaningful, meaningless, fun, sad, precious, dreadful, with or without friends. but why all the humans all made up of angry?! sad?! jealous?!?!

i admit i has weakness, but, i want to ask, can you pin point out your weakness?! CAN YOU?!

i do believe there are some people can do it, some people can't. and i am the one who can't. i admit it. but what's the purpose of friends?!

it's to help you, assist you to recognise you weakness. to tolerate your angry, your sellfish, your weakness. to grow with you, to make fun of you, while you can do it too, too help you discover your unique ability, unique personality, some special kindness that other people do not have.

but then, why there are still some people think that he or she should be treated like a prince or princess?! although he or she just born from normal family?! not under the bloodline of royalty?! WHY?!

he or she require somebody else to celebrate some special days. in return, he or she should celebrate the friends that helped him or her!!! this is humans. always needs rewards, in any form. money, famous, wealth or even some words of praise!!!!

but at our generation, this generation, we require no the things like this. but, we just want some praises, some comforts, some supports, or just remember our special days. this is enough to maintain a friendships.

i admit i am very forgetfulness, i admit somehow, i did like to do some expectations that never gonna accurate. but, will this gonna make me lost a friendship?!

THAT PERSON CALL ME A LOSER!!! WHAT ABOUT HER?! NOT JUST MY BIRTHDAY!!! EVEN THE OTHERS ONE!!!!! AND NOW SHE JUST EXPEXT THAT WE WILL OBEY HER ORDER?!?! LIKE A ROYAL DOG?!! OR LIKE A ROYAL SERVANT?! THAT ALWAYS FOLLOW THE 'YOUR HIGHNESS', WIHTOUT ANY OBJECTIONS?! WITHOUT ANY EMOTIONS?! IS HAVING A BOYFRIEND CAN HAVE THESE RIGHT TO TOLD OTHER PEOPLE TO DO WHAT THEY DON'T WANT?! MAYBE THE BOYFRIEND CAN OBEY YOU, BUT YOU CAN'T, EVEN THINK ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE WILL DO THIS FOR YOU!!! ONLY FOR YOU!!!!

WE DID NOT FORGET YOU, BUT IT'S YOU ARE THE ONE, WHO JUST ISOLATED WITH US, YOU DIDN'T EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS TO ME, SO HOW CAN I MAKE SOME EXPECTATIONS FROM YOU?! YOU NEVER ASK, NEVER TELL ME HOW'S YOUR FEELING, NEVER EXPOSE YOUR PERSONALITY TO ME!!!

I DID RESPECT YOU, AND YOU SOMEHOW RESPECTING ME. BUT WHAT NOW?! YOU ARE DISCRIMINATING ME!!!!! DID I EVER DO THAT?! DID I SHOUT A F**K WORD IN FRONT YOUR FACE?! I ACTUALLY FORGET TO INVITE YOU, BUT HOW ABOUT YOU?! DID YOU PLAN ANY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR ANYONE OF US?! JUST TO YOUR BOYFRIEND ONLY, FOR YOUR OTHER FELLOW FRINEDS. I DIDN'T MIND IF YOU DO THAT, BUT, EVEN IF I ASKED YOU, WHAT WILL YOU DO?!

EVERYONE IS A PRETENTER!!!!!!! EVEN YOU SHOUTING AT ME, BUT ARE ALSO WEARING A MASK!!! A MASK THAT I TRY TO ISOLATE FROM US!!!!! YOU NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELING TO ME! THEN?! WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME DIRECTLY?! FACE TO FACE, OR SMS, OR BLOG, OR E-MAIL, OR INSTANT MESSSAGES?! DID YOU DO THAT?!

YOU ARE JUST CARING YOUR FEELING ONLY, THE FEELINGS THAT YOU DID NOT EXPOSE TO ME!!!!! HOW CAN I UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELING?! YOU AND ME IS AT THE EDGE OF FRIENDSHIP, THE FRIENDS THAT WE KNOW EACH OTHER, BUT WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER'S PERSONALITY, DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER'S FAVORITE AND DISLIKE THINGS?!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN SHOUT AT SOMEONE ELSE THAT YOU ARE NOT TOO FAMILIAR WITH THE WORDS 'LOSER, PREENTER'?! DON'T YOU THINK YOU ARE TOO NAIVE?! EVEN MYSELF. TYPING THIS POST, I ALSO FEELING I AM NAIVE TOO!!!!!!!

DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HAVE NEGATIVE MOODS?! ME, MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, EVEN ONE IN THIS WORLD, THIS DIMEMSION, THIS TIME HAVE THEIR OWN FEELING!!!!! HAVE THEIR OWN NEGATIVE MOOD!!!!! BUT THEN, DID THEY EXPOSED?! DID THEY UNWEARING THEIR MASK?! THE MASK WITH A FACE OF HAPPY,OF SMILE, BUT BENEATH IT, IS THE FACE OF ANGER, HATRED, JEALOUS, SAD!!! BUT WHY WE WEAR A MASK, TO FOOL THE WORLD, TO FOOL THE PEOPLE AROUND US!!!!!

I CAN'T MERELY TO WEARING MY MASK ALL THE TIMES, BUT I CAN FIND A WAY OUT, TO COVER THE PART THAT MY MASK CAN'T COVER. CHEATING IS A BAD THINGS, BUT EVERY THING HAS A GOOD SIDE OF IT. I AM CHEATING IT IS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT MY VOLCANO-LIKE TEMPER TO EXPOSE TO OTHERS!!! I ALREADY LEARN HOW TO CONTROL MY TEMPER, HOLD IT NOT TO BE EXPLODE AGAIN, BUT NOW, YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE WHO TRIGGLED IT!!! FOR THE FIRT TIME SINCE MY FORM FOUR, I CAN'T CONTROL IT, I NEARLY TO HIT ANYTHINGS THAT IS GETTING IN MY WAY!!!

THAT'S IT, IF YOU WANT AN END, I CAN END IT!!!!!

Happy Birthday!!! not mine one...

2009-11-23T18:45:00.000-08:00

well, it's not my birthday!!! just two of my gang's birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YUUJI AND JONANTHAN!!!!

we all go to the pan mee shop that we all usually go, then we all celebrated the birthday!!!

just a short post...i am really busy recently!!!!!! stupid lecturers, set all of the deadline of assignments, presentation and tests at the same week....

five consecutive things...

2009-11-09T03:44:00.000-08:00

1st
on 8th of november 2009, 4.30pm
my family suddenly want to go to ulu yam bahru to have a long-time-didn't-go dinner that the last time we go there was approxiamtely half a year ago. the restorant that located at the midway of the mountain, famous for the curry fish head, curry prawn and pig leg. the taste doesn't change at all, but the quantity of the serving are shrinked a little bit. nevertheless, it's worth because it's really tasty!!! this place don't have a menu, and opened for 6 hours only, from 12.00pm till 6.00pm, but you don't have the meals if you go without ordering from 2.00pm, because it's too many people!!!!! it just serve the curry fish head, curry prawn, some vegetable depands on the season, and pig leg only. but it's still attract my appetize no matter what, even it required a long travel from my home to to there!!!

2nd
8th of november 2009, 5.15pm
i met the person that i want to avoid as much as possible. i know him since my secondary school Form 3. but the friendship just last for 2 years. the 'ship' sank on the end of 2008. the reason is he cheated me, a very big and not funny 'joke' that he thinks is funny. and this is not the memory that i ever never to remember it. but the encounter forced me to remember, jsut like things just happened yesterday. i not sure that did he noticed me, but i do! for the first time, i hope i can leave that place that i usually like to stay till the last drop of the curry is finish. but this time is different,i hoped the meals can serve quickly, eat quickly, and leave when my parents' beer is finish!!!

3rd
9th november 2009, 1.25pm
one of my group member, Jeff asked me, they want to capture a video as a gift for jasmin. but i kinda hestitate. why? other group members' birthday didn't celebrated or celebrate, but just for her, all of us need to do somethings that mostly unwillling. even my birthday also have some close gang friend celebrate. i feeling sorry for them because me too also forget their birthday. I AM REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT!!!! GOMENAZAI!!! Torrent's word enchance my determination to reject this. but i still hestitating.

4th
9th november 2009, 3.05pm
i having the english class to replace the class missed on last friday. when my english teacher, miss cheng wei fong enter the class, she ask me did i watch the video that Matthias from the eco warrior group on facebook uploaded to facebook. i said i did, and what suprise me is, miss cheng said the Matthias guy upload to some website and approximately 200 people watched this video. and i was stunned, a mini one, last only from <1sec, then what come next is i feel happy, because i on this video, and more that 200 people watched me. this is my first time exposed on video in front of people that i don't know. luckily i didn't blush at that time...XD. miss cheng said my english was not bad, but need to improve some more, this also fly my heart to cloud.

5th
9th november 2009, 4.35pm
after i finish the english class, someone want to tell me something, regarding the birthday things( i also forget her birthday...T_T, sorry). we go to a corridor, and have a small talk, just two of us. she is quite mature comparing to me, she can see through much deeper than i, although we have the same horoscope(but i see the things more further in future and wider than her...^_^Y). the things we talked shall be sealed in my brain. after i do some investigation, i started to realized that I AM KIND OF NAIVE, AND TOO BLUR TO THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to clear my mind on this night.

my moods are showing in a wave like when plot the happiness versus time flow graph, high at first and lastly drop down with up and down at the pathway. i have to think more deeper to growth. may all people live in peace and happy.....

Tree Plantation on 7-eleven day!!!!!

2009-11-07T16:25:00.000-08:00

7-eleven day? well it is on 7th of november ma, and the chain store of 7-eleven is celebrating this day lo...lol

before i decide, i were hestitate. why? it may be fun, but none of my group member want to go....... the reason they don't want to go? too far, too early, balik kampung, too lazy, got test on monday, blah blah blah...walau, other people also got test la, other people come from far places to do the plantation la, other people want to go instead of balik kampung la, other people also lazier that you la, other people also got test la, not only you got test la...i don't understand what's the point that don't want to go. this may be the once-in-the-life exprience t0 do these things with your current coursemates, plus this is not a bad things ma... just plant there la, if feel too tired next time don't want to come la.... everybody is quite dissapointing me...

6.20 am i arrived at the wangsa maju LRT station, jus wait for the other people to arrive, miss cheng done the head count, then we all abroad the LRT to the Taman Jaya. when the time we got there miss cheng already got there(miss cheng didn't abroad the LRT, but she is relatively fast...need for speed racer...XD), after have a small breakfast in the A&W there, we go to the destination with bus, the place is somewhere the kuala selangor. the peat swamp is called Raja M*** Reserve Park, something like this.

gathering omph!!!!

we arrived there on 8.51am, but still need to walk in to deeper part for 20minutes...sweat, no transportation one... then there are already got people assemble there(warrior of the night, assemble...miao...XD), approximately 150 people, so there are really hot...

what a long walk.....

and this guy, can't remember his name, is my squard leader, my group include me, justion, sherly, jia hou and his girlfriend, ming wei, kok kiong and hing heng. i and justion is do the digging soil for new plants, jia hou, ming wei, kok kiong and sherly do the clean up job for new plants and old plants. heng hing and jia hou's girlfriend do the planting new trees. the whole process is extremely tired because firstly, too hot. secondly, the landscape is too irregular in their water content, softness and too much weeds, walking is a problem. thirdly, it require a relative good strenght to dig the hole because if the soil is too damp, they all stick to gather and hard to put up with the hoe. fourthly, the walking before the plantation site is too tiring and hot, most stamina are used up there first before the plantation. fifthly, the weeds near the plant that suppose to plant the trees is too abundance, it is hard to roughly clean up the place before digging. after that, there are no too difficult things besid all these, and it is actually fun!!! but i feel sorry to kim, because i didn't notice a root there, and i almost fall down, but kim's back is my supportive things that i can grasp, with my dirty glove...XD, kim's back side became very beautiful since that...T_T

roughly we do for 2 hours, till 11.07am, we done all the trees that suppose to be our target number, there is a tent there, no fan one, the so-called lunch is ready. actually i don't have the appetize at that time because they serve nasi lemak, it's too hot to eat sambal chilies, and i drank too much of water. so i "symbolly" eat a little bit, for me, the food seems delicious because other people looks like having delicious lunch...XD

the guy at the upper row, second fromt he left is the mattice(name likes that), is the one who briefing on the way to the site...

lexon and me!!! and why kim is behind us?!

then is the photo session!!! we take almost 10 minutes to do the picturing. on 11.47pm, we all slowy walk back to the bus...since other people walk too slow, the cars behind them got the ride, me? nah... i walk too fast so no transportation...T_T...but teck jian is too meanie!!! why? because he tumpang other people car, and take away his newspaper too...XD...又吃又打包...but i heard teck jian said that the car is belongs to the The Star newspaper reporter...well...

on 12.05pm, all of us got in the bus and the bus's shaking motion seems too comfortable to sleep, almost everybody fall asleep, except me, lexon, teck jian and his friends remain awake... the time we back to the wangsa maju LRT station is almost 1.45pm. but i got home at 2.30pm... stupid traffic jam, don't now what they jammed for...>_<

ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZZ...

when i bathing, i realized that the dirt that stuck in my fingernails is hard to clean up, and i got a cut on my right tight. the problem is i also don't know when i got this wound. everybody seems is to tired, no one upload the photo to the facebook until night time. so that's that la...

last group photo at the below of taman jaya LRT station...

and last thing, don't tell lexon about this picture...............XD, lol

long long post...but with precious memory...

2009-11-02T05:41:00.000-08:00

why precious you ask?

you know, some people can complete a short drama(approximately 10-12 minutes) wthin 36 hours(not some people, they are us!!!). what is more accurately, less then it because sleep time does count. let me start from the first hour. Please take note that this post is gonna be very long, so don't read it when you are busy...XD

here are the whole group members of the drama groups, i introduce them first, or else readers may confuse...XD

from top row left to right: Bing Cong(BC), Hou Yi in drama(HY), me, Xiao Wei as Chang Er(XW), Stephy as a singer in restarent, Patrick as waiter, Kuan Chie(KC).

middle row from left, follower of HY(in drama known as Patrick), Ben, Seng.

Girls from 9 o'clock direction, in clockwise direction: dancer 1, dancer 2, You Fong(YF) and dancer 3.

very pathetic because i not even know their name!!!! SORRY!!!!!

30th October 2009

4.30pm
BC asked me want to help in the chinese society's 20th aniversary celebration+ mid-autumn festival(=.=III..this festival already is gone at least 1 month) as the temporary actor(K Le Fe in cantonese la). i am hestitated, i want to go because it is fun, i don't to go because i am lazy to travel to college and to home. so i said i consider.

8.30pm
i am extremely hestitaing, my shop is closing and i am not sure i want to go or not, based on the same reasons mentioned above. then i finally made up my mind, I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN!!! so there i go...

9.00pm
"wei? BC? where are you now? i at the sport complex already!"
this is my first call, what i got is...
"coming, coming, now passing the zoo negara, wait a moment."
so? then i waited, when i starring at the night of the college, i feel some chilly from my back. although there are some nouise and lights from the sport complex, because i am thinking about the ghost story(all are not complete one, because no one and no evidences saw 'it'). so i think, some people ask others come early and himself come late...whatever...

night in college...spooky...

9.07pm
finally BC has arrived, with his friend Seng and KC. as we entered the complex, Seng directly go to find the group, here i firstly introduce to Ben. Four of us is the temporary actors, so not much to said in the drama, but with a lot of actions.

9.15pm
i know my position and my very first dialogue, " give the company to us!!!", and "you better mark my words!!!". these two is in the angry expression. now i know about a little plot of the drama i am acting,it is the story between the Hou Yi and Chang Er, a chinese myth that saying Hou Yi is the hero that shot down 9 Suns. as a reward, he obtain a God Medicine(Xian Dan) and the most beautiful women in the world, Chang Er. but Chang Er stole the medicine and eat. lastly she fly to the moon and seperated from Hou Yi. but the drama now is the Mordem Drama. Saying about the Hou Yi come to present time and own a very big company by buying the companies from others. then he try to investigate the Immortal Medicines. his lover, Chang Er again try to destroy the report, and thus both of them feel very sad. this kind of the sad+love+mordem drama is not one of my favorite drama, but i am not the director so no choice la. the director is YF(in my opinion, she is quite out-of-my-expextion girl). XW and HY keep trying to act better, but get scolded...sad. but there is a funny thing. XW suppose to cry and laugh and cry(you know...the expression), but she can't because the expression on her face is very funny and all of us can't stop laughing when she do this.

10.00pm
we finally can move on the stage because they are doing the decoration until now. so my 1st scene, shout at the main male charator, HY to give back the company. then 2nd scene, i am the one of the custemer in the restorant. 3rd scene, i am one of the job-less guys. 4th scene, scene about XW try to destroy the documents but stopped by HY. 5th scene, there are a solo song perfomened by Seng[忘记爱过，张栋梁], to reduce the boring-rity, we have to do something, so we decide all of us(me, BC, KC and Ben) pretenting finding a job but fail, and i throw, destroy to newspaper(and the effect is good when it's come to real...^^Y). last scene, both of them regrets what are done. so that's it!!!

10.30pm
i am informed, and one of my most disliking things, come to college for rehearsal at 9.00am. well, i am agreed, so i play along too.(but i really hate to do this!!!)

31th Octorber 2009

7.00am
i am not sure i am so nervous, or excited because i woke up without the phone's alarm rang. so i fetch my mum to shop and i go to college.

8.57am
"wei, where are you now?"
"coming!!! now entering college entrance!!!"
well, there we go again...

9.01am
i saw HY(pathenic, i not even remember his name...T_T), so we chatted awhile, and i saw BC, KC and Seng coming. so we enter the sport complex. so we pratice and practice and pratice again, with try to adding some others things to the scences. this continue until 4.15pm.

4.30pm
i am driving to my home, but what is angrying me is TRAFFIC JAM!!! WHAT THE FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>.< 5.00pm
finally arrive home but this hour is not in my calculation!!!!!!! i have to rush!!!!!

the banquet decoration...

6.10pm
i found all the dancers and YF is there, so i go there and prepare.

everybody is trying to relax...

first photo session before our show!!!

looks very SERIOUS!!!! XD + LOTF!!!!

7.00pm
finally!!! we can have our seats and have our meals!!!! delicious!!!!!!

limited water supply...because the waiters and waitress are too busy...

7.30pm
we suggesting when need to prepare so that we won't be confused, all agree on 8.00pm. what is funny, everybody seems like don't have the appetites...but what is following is...

7.45pm
we all realized that the show is hasted in a unexpected rate!!!! so we all hurry to the position to prepare...(sound like there's gonna be a war...=.=III)

8.30pm
we are informed to move to the back stage for final preparation. THE WAR IS COMMENCING!!!!!(but for me is not because i have the experience already...XD...but i forget to see the time that when we show because i am also a little nervous, but i am relatively calm if compared to others...XD). the show is moving smoothly without any terrible mistakes.

9.30pm
we can finally sit down and enjoy the show!!! everybody seems like they are not eating for days, and snapping the foods. but i am not one of them because i am really full!!!

everyone started to enjoy food because it's over!!!

one more group photo!!!

10.30pm
the banquet is finally finish, after we all take the photos, only me, BC, Ben, KC and Seng go for a night tea in the happy season cafe...as named, there are really 4 room conditions!!! the first floor is the spring room, which inside the cafe with suitable temperature, and a summer room, which is relatively warm. well MALAYSIA ALWAYS IS SUMMER!!! the upper floor, which s the roofless area is my favorite season autumn, here is very comfortable because of the breeze and the rain stopped about 30 minutes ago. the last one, which is also the place we all sit, is the winter room. "the temperature in this room is maintained at 15'C, so.........." the dots is because i didn't continue to read the notice on the door...XD.

happy season at Wangsa Maju...

10.45pm
our drinks is served!!! i ordered a strawberry ice blended. BC ordered a sea coconut+vanilla ice blended. Ben ordered a healthier drink, the kiwi juice. KC and Seng ordered the same drinks, the chocolate ice blended coffee. these two guys is bot gonna sleep tonight!!! wakaka...what's more is, they want to have a competition, see who can't withstand the cold first. WAKAKA!!!! BC! YOU FORGOT MY ONE OF THE NICKNAME!!!! POLAR BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO CAN BEAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why long-ing the face? you drink leh?!

enjoy your drinks la...XD

11.40pm
we done our drinks, and they can't withstand the coldness. of course, i am the winner with no prizes...XD

autumn area...i like this...

1st November 2009

00.00am
i arrive my home sweet home, and i can't withstand the sleepiness already. i jump to my very own bed and sleep!!!! when i lies on the bed, i was thinking, it's too wasted that we didn't take the video of our drama...

so that's concluded one of my memory!!! with the theme song, 忘记爱过 by 张栋梁!!!

now i realized that i have almost very theme songs for any precious memories....

why should i do?!

2009-10-18T18:26:00.000-07:00

things suppose to be done yet to be done.
things suppose not to be done is done.
what am i really doing in this world?!

last friday, the first semster examination result release. that day. i planned to play tennis with my fellow. that day, i planned to watch a movie with my secondary school friends. that day, i suppose to take care my cafe world in my facebook.

these four things i just remember the first two. then the last two things, i nearly forogt.

the result, yes the result.

CHEMICAL STRUCTURE AND ENERGETICS
B

BIODIVERSITY AND ECOLOGY
B

INFORMATION SYSTEMS AND APPLICATIONS
C+

CALCULUS AND ALGEBRA II
B

PRE-CALCULUS
B+

BADMINTON
S

so?????

i am even not sure how i gonna to type already. the CGPA dropped. from 3.33333 to 3.1xxx.

how am i to do if i want 3.5?!

the tennis.
for the first time i played, i feel i can play very well if i continue play.
the photos?
nah, i posting this post in library, no way i gonna plug my devices into heavily viruses-infected computer.

the movie.
if my secondary school friends didn't remind me, i cab completely forget this movie.
the movie is the pandorum(spelling like this). fromo the whole staffs that making the Resident Evil Trilogy. overall, i think movie is nice, just talking about the space ship that sent out to migrate 60,000 people to a new earth-like planet called Tanis. but then the main character woke up(deep hibenate), wake up without any memory, encounter some fierce creatures(this i really want to make comment, they didn't give a clear explanation of these creatures, that's why i think this movie is bit too fast). at the end, only 1312 people make it to the new planet.

the cafe world.
well, nothing too much i needed to said, just see it!!!

how should i do?!?!

What kinds of a day?!?!

2009-10-12T06:32:00.000-07:00

is there a so-called monday-curse or something else? or just today's number of accidents happened that i saw were just a coincidence??? or just simply i am the death god??? XDXD(although i want to be...^^)

there are total four of them, the car incidents, all occured at the places there i am familiar with.

1st case
Time: around 1pm
Location: Near the college road
Vehicles involved: a Proton Wira, a Pole which supports LRT trains.
Damage Level: Serious
Witness: Me, Torrent, Yuuji, Jonathan and Ryan
Remark: How come a car can collide the pole?! with the damage, it must be at a high speed. according to my dad, this propabrly is caused by so called "buang".

2nd case
Time: around 2.30pm
Location: On the way to my shop, near the bulatan batu cave
Vehicles involved: a Proton Wira, a motorcycle
Damage Level: Serious, may cost one life
Witness:Me, my dad
Remark: my dad passby there around 3.30pm, yet the corspe of the car and motorcycle didn't removed for road, so high probability one life lost.

3rd case
Time: around 4pm
Location: Just in front my shop
Vehicles involved: a Proton Saga, a road name plate(something like that, them blue plate wrote the road name, hereby i type as victim...XD)
Damage Level: minor
Witness: many people around my shop, approximate 30 people
Remark: the driver(aunty) said she is not the one who collided the victim. say something like this also can, if she is not the one who collide the victim, then who?! strange aunt

4th case
Time: around 8.45pm
Location: on my way to home sweet home
Vehicles involved: a Proton Wira, and some others car but remain unknown, the Wira is the one i saw
Damage Level: Light, since the cars can move aside, from the main road, so maybe just a kiss.
Witness: me, my dad, and more than 50 people(so many cars passby, so is much more then this number)
Remark: there are many cars parked at there, most likely argueing, for whose fault blah blah blah, who care!!! just cause the traffic jam only. those on the road drivers are also busy body, they having a kiss only, why need to bother to slow down and watch?! maybe the next accident happen at you because of not paying attention for the font cars.

that's that, no pictures today. may the lives lost on the road R.I.P...

New lecturer!!!

2009-10-07T06:12:00.000-07:00

now i am gonna introduce two lecturer now, i just wonder, will the lecturer see my blog? if they do, what's their responds? will they deduct my final exam marks, or anythings else worst?!?!

well, never mind that, i didn't do anythings wrong, nor correct. i didn't comment them very bad, just different lecturers got different style. now moving on...

this lecturer, miss Maureen...hard to pronounce is it?

but it has an easy way to pronounce it. i am not going to use the English spelling, since most of the English spelling i forgot, plus not all of us can read the English spelling. her name can be pronounce as "毛利", in Chinese. it's exactly same name of one of my favorite comic, Detective Conan, that idiot detective(but some times he has unexpected clever...XD).

i accidentally found it out when my friends ask me how to read her name. then that's how i read and the teacher said it's correct. surprise!!! those can't read Chinese, just simply follow my spelling in Malay pronounce way: mau li. simple is it. she is not very harsh, nor very good manner lecturer(i think???!), intermediate if more proper, since she just taught one lesson only. we can't judge a book from it's cover, even now we are talking about human...XD. and one more thing, she is from sarawak...

now keep going next lecturer, miss Lim Lee Koon, an ex-ordinary nanny...XDXD. she had her glasses on(clear one), but i fail to capture it, but never mind. when she start her lecturer, she took off the transparent glasses, and put on her ex-ordinary black sunglasses!!!!!

Before...

After!!!!!

geng leh...^-^Y...
she teach me the statistics. this unit suppose has a long name, andinary statistic blah blah blah...so just put statistic or mathematics is enough...XD

this is the last mathematics-based unit for my diploma year, and my diploma years is gonna end!!! soon enough!!!!

well, i got no choice, the time flow like this, may the beautiful nature follow us all the way to end!!!XD

New Semester!!!!!!

2009-10-05T06:02:00.000-07:00

what a tiring day, i am suffering lack of sleep recently, so sometimes i think not all the good habits are "good" enough. take an example, i can wake up every morning around 6am to 7.30am, latest is 8am, without any alarm, no matter what time i sleep, given that not later than 5am. some people say, this is a "good" habit, but for me, THIS IS AIN'T A GOOD HABIT AT ALL!!! as mentioned, no matter what time i sleep. sleep at 3am, wake up at 7.30am, sleep at 9pm, wake up at 7am, and this keep going on. i believe that this habit was trained since my primary school, starting standard 4. it was morning class, so i have to wake up myself, without waking my mom and dad up because i have bus service. very regular time, woke up at 6am, use 30 minutes to prepare(changing clothes, drink a cup of milo with some biscuits, and some more i forgot), waiting bus, go to school, back from school. most people stop at here, they do something else, like sleeping, playing, anythings, but for me, i just use 30 minutes again(the school off at 1.10pm, i got back to home at approximate 1.20pm) to eat lunch, take a bath, change clothes. at 1.50pm, i'll go to tuition. it is not the whole class tuition with approximate 20 people, but it is a 4-5 people tuition class. if it is start at 2pm, i have no objections, but it is start at 4pm...FOUR PM!!! so i just seat at a corner there, alone(really alone, me only, although the tuition teacher have other class going on), do the homeworks from school. at that time i really don't know how do i survive. so maybe i am really friend-less type at primary school, this go on in the secondary school, but in exchange, i am top 5 in primary school, i even get no. 1 in my last year in primary school. my UPSR get almost full As, i think is 8As, maybe wrong, who knows!!! then in my secondary school, my grade keep going on, never fall out from top 5, but this change in form 4, because i enter the first class, where all the people like me study there, but my grade didn't fall out from top 10, i can nearly get into first place, just so close, but never mind. and now, the people around me just like the people in form 4 and 5, but they are more friendly...

i just realized that this is out of my post already. well anyway...
at first i want so HELLO to my fellow friends which didn't meet so long, new semester is starting, so this semester i will be hardworking as usual!!!(sound like i didn't hardworking before...XD)

regarding the lack of sleep, on last saturday, i go out, watch Sorority Row with my secondary school friends(not too many of them, including myself just 5), what a horrobile movie, but it is not that cruel enough as Friday The 13th, which the Jason kill his(or may be its because maybe that one is not human) victims with some slow-killing-way, plus the sound is amplifying the effects, so it is interesting for me. for this Sorority Row, the killer(i don't want spoil the movie, or else it's boring to those who haven't watch, then for those watched, you know who is the killer) kill the victims in a very fast way, each on them are one-hit-kill. for me, a science students, i know some ways that the killer done does not kill the victims at all, maybe heave injuired only, but they shoot like this, i can't do anythings...XD. but the story of this movie really attract me to watch this movie, so the ticket does not wasted. for my friends, 2 of them scared, one is just like me, remain calm, then the last one, in between, he don't know what to do, close the eye? close the ears? but he want to see how the victims died, the expression is really funny, too dissapointing, since the threater goes not allow to use camera.

after that, we all go out for a midnight snack, th movie ends at 12.15am, and we have our drinks till 3am. the sunday morning i woke up at 7.30am(so called "good" habit), i don't what to do, so i woke up and play games.

the sunday goes on as usual, then at the night time, i ready to go to bed at 10.30pm, to meet my new semester. what is wait for me is, woke up 6am. WTF!!! so i woke up again, without any struggle, and play game. next thing that surprise me is, Yuuji sms me, asking me did i want to bring my laptop to school, so we can go to torrent's house to play DotA. i refused, because i lazy.

next thing, the new teacher to us, DBC 2 students is the Dr. Won* En* Hw*(virus? no, i purposely do this), half chinese, half indian female teacher,teach microorganisms and microbiology. this teacher for me i think she is kind of boring, the attration towards jokes is 40% only, so overall, this teacher maybe kinds of boring.

but the other teacher is different, she is very funny, knowing how to make the joke. Cikgu Chon* Yo* Fon*, teaching hubungan etnik(history unit for understanding). she just keep encouraging all of my group members to ask question. "not questions asked by students are stupids" , this is what she say, so i ask, "berapa umur cikgu?", one more thing need to take a note, she want us talk in bahasa malaysia, so i asked the question," how old are you?". the effect is expected, but this teacher's reaction is unexpected. she just laugh out like others, then answer my question, she is just one year older that TAR college. well, i guess all of us know already, so not need to tell the answer. this teacher also give us the 1st assigment, pass up on week 5 or 6. well, i am back to normal life that i like to!!!

Cikgu Chong, teaching history.

is this pose kind of funny? doesn't look like a teacher who older that college

Dr. Wong, teaching microbiology

tell the truth, she is kind of beautiful in some way, but i dislike the dumd personality

my gang having a happy moments in my favorite pan mee shop!!!

then the day go on and on till i blogging.
here i also attach some beautiful wallpapers, have fun everyone!!!

extremely-boringly-unexpectedly HOLIDAYS!!!

2009-09-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

since the last post, i realized that i didn't do any funny/interesting/memorable/happy/sad/angry...blah blah blah blah blah things at all. i wonder how i pass through these days. that's why i dislike holidays. what i want to do in holiday are play any games that i feel interested and PLAY IT FOR THE WHOLE DAY, WITHOUT ANY DISTURBING!!!

but my mum insist(force is more proper description) me to help her out in the shop. although i can bring my laptop, but the fun with it is limited, always have to prepared to be interrupted and away from the laptop for at least 30 minutes(the customers come like a swamp of harmful insects, wave by wave, as well as the goods my mum ordered). sometimes, my friends invite me go out or play warcraft TFT(DotA of course), i would likely to reject the invitation. the reason for not going out is because i can get a salary for doing work(RM500, stay and foods and drinks are provided, i don't think a boss of a company will let you bring your laptop to work, give you foods and drinks for free etc. so i think this is a easy job). the reason for not playing DotA is i need to pause the game for some period, especially during lunch time, time before dinner and morning. the customers come like the swamp zombie in Left 4 Dead, all coming to you, the stupid telephone keep ringing endlessly. so i don't think it's a good idea to play un-pause-able games. so many games installed in my laptop are out for this reason.

at least on hari raya i got something interesting thing to share. my family go to a restaurant that famous for their herbal dishes. since my sis can't made up her mind, so she shared all the three soup. my mum ordered a shark bone+abalone+shark fins+various herbal soup. i order a coconut+chicken+various cheap herbal soup(why i know the herbal is cheap? because i always buy the herbal things for my mum to make some soup). then my dad ordered a crocodile claw+various herbal soup. Crocodiles!!! my god!!! i tried the meat, taste like chicken. then the skin part of the claw, it got a lot of glia(some kind of protein membranous layer,胶质 in Chinese) underneath. the scale(i think so?) is very hard, i chewed for a long time to break it, tough...XD

then all of the dishes ordered were cooked with herbal, so everything ate were with the smell of herbal, taste of herbal, look of herbal, touch of herbal, sound like herbal...XD(all sensory organ listed). and one more thing, i realized that my soup was the cheapest!!! and most delicious among the three soups!!! only for RM 7, then the shark bone soup cost RM 35, the crocodile soup cost RM 48!!!

at least i can do something, every morning i wake up, the first words that pop in my head, i'll search that term for the whole day, anythings, about that terms. to increase knowledge while in holiday, to kill GODLIKE noob time in shop. the game that i played in the previous post, to tell the truth, i already stop playing that game because i started to feel boring for that...XD

here i add some beautiful landscapes that i searched on Internet(Internet now are almost incredible!!!XD), hope all can relax and seeing these pictures. feel free to download too!!!

herbal jelly as the dessert, actually got 6 piece, but my family ate so i am too late to take the picture.

at front : fried vegetable(vegetable are herbal too!!!)
at center : double mixed prawn, herbal cooking too
at right : steamed snow fish with herbal(雪鱼, not sure in English)
at top left : herbal pig bone with mami sauce

crocodile claw soup...yuck!!!

my coconut+chicken+various cheap herbal soup, special eh?

holidays...

2009-09-13T18:32:00.001-07:00

one of my hate-most period in my life...stay in the shop, nothing to do...
now at least i got something to play, a web page game...SDZ in short...
i just start on last Wednesday, it is kind of fun for me, so i keep playing and playing...
one of it's features that attract me is you don't have to stay online all the time to level up, unlike the other online game. plus, i can help my mum out and even i am leveling up. so try it out!!

agility character...XD

what a strange day...

2009-09-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

i don't know what are them doing now...Bing Cong, Yuuji and Torrent was studying today's exam unit, chemical structure and energetics, one of my worrying subject in this semester...
they was study at Torrent's house start on 12am today...TODAY!!!! they was planned on yesterday 11pm something, and that time i need to ask something to confirm my memory remember the right things, so i online... what i realized that they were discussing whether or not go to Torrent's house to study the most difficult part of this chemistry unit, thermodynamic...
i do believe they were studied throughout the whole night... luckily i didn't go insane with them...study the while night will cause me seriously insufficient sleep...which will cause not enough spirit power to figure out the answers for the exam...haiz...sound like writing the answer for the question...XDXD

Anything funny? can share with me? XD

Don't know is sleeping or studying...

not a nice weather for me... all smoke...

well, i go there on 5.45am something like that, since i was absent for the tutorial, i need to copy the solutions so that i can understand more...around 6am i reached there, and they were enjoying their so called "breakfast"...T_T... i haven't have my breakfast...i were forced to ate some high fiber breads with peanut jam... what a long time since my last contract with peanut jam!!!

well anyway, we were go to the college on 8.15am so that we can do a final revisions there...but we didn't, travelling to the exam venue, search for our gang etc cause a lot of time...so when i take out the notes, the stupid whisker sounded, indicating i can't do the final scanning!!! luckily the exam question was under expected...except the last question, the thermodynamic part!!!

well what done is done... we can't regret what was done!!!

one thing does not under my expection... it was raining after the exam...RAINING!!! we were squeezed like the sardine fishes in the can...well, whatever...the problem is just how do we get into our cars to go out and eat...i were wetted to get into my car...the front part of my body was wet, well no choices...we all go to jusco's KFC( first time...why first time? tell you later...XD) for our lunch... to be more accurate, breakfast because the first meal...XDXD

what i feel YUCK is Torrent said that he saw the KFC there got mice, what's more is Bing Cong saw his drink got a bug inside... furthermore is after he finish the drink!!! YUCK!!!!
after that, i go back to my home to take a bath... and i can sleep on the sofa while i watching TV program!! slept approximate 1 and half hour...

later, i go to my mum's shop to help her out...tell the truth, just wait to have dinner only...XD
but what surprise me is, my dad want to eat KFC AGAIN!!! OOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGG!!!!!
i almost have the whole day meals of KFC!!!! i feel very full when i brought the meals and put in my car... and a little uncomfortable...

i do believe i would not eat any KFC or any other related fast foods for one month...maybe even more than one month... for today energy intake i even not sure how many cardiac exercises need to do to finish these energy... maybe weightlifting is more faster way... maybe another way can be faster...XD...lessons learn today: never eat too much of fast foods or else you will vomit...

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

2009-08-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

finally, i recovered from stupid fever and celebrate my BIRTHDAY!!!!
start from 20th of August, around 9.45am, i started to fall sick(think so...XD), until 23rd August 7.00am(the time i woke up...early is it?), i recovered...well at least not H1N1, or else i may celebrate my birthday in hospital...HOSPITAL YOU KNOW!!!! not a good thing to celebrate in HOSPITAL!!! by here, i wish all people around the world whose birthday on 23rd of August...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL OF US!!!
on 22nd, i celebrated my birthday with my family, with an 1kg panda cake!!! what a big size cake... -_-lll ... i estimate i can finish it on Friday...maybe no...XD...

then today, 24th of August, i celebrated my birthday again with my college friends...that's mean i grow 2 years old!!!XD there are something strange, how my mum and dad know i grow 2 years old in 1 years? so that they put 2 big candles on the panda cake??? parents know their children what their thinking...freaking...
the following photos are taken on this afternoon, in my favourite pan mee shop, even the staff know us, since we go there once a week...
in the first picture,from left, she is Hui Chin(clevest girl in my group, aka little sister), Kenneth(from group 2 one, just join my gang... aka Jenny XD), Wai Kit(oldest male in my group...5th Wai Kit i know...-_-lll), ME!!, Torrent(guy in green shirt...he is very free one...like nothing to do...XD), lastly Yuuji(know many thing, and likes to watch animations, especially comedy)

both cakes may contain high calories...my burned fats may come back to me again...T_T
well, one of my gang member, Bing Cong was absent, because of fever too, hope he get well soon
by the way, who can tell me what is my horoscope?! LEO OR VIRGO?!?!?!?!

Another unlucky day...

2009-08-20T06:17:00.000-07:00

My my my...look what we have here...2 days unlucky day...right now, as i typing this post, the whole area of my resident are black out!!! furthur more, i am suffering headache+dizzy+restless.
just on today's morning, i was feeling great before the small test, but right after i done the test, i feel uncomfortable, with unknown reasons...i go to a clinic for a small check(since my mum afraid of i getting A(H1N1) and infect everyone in my family...XD), the doctor said i was okay, the body tempeature are normal, maybe i were overworked and stressed...i am not pretty sure that i have stress, but i admit i am lack of sleep recently...haiz...stupid mortal body!!!

Too much things happened today....

2009-08-19T06:18:00.000-07:00

maybe i gonna become insane already, suddenly tooooooo much of things happened...
1st, due ti yesterday was rain heavily crazy, plus thunder( rain + thunder = storm ^^), one of the pity tree was stroked by the lightning( probably because i didn't see a uniform cut from any tools), blocking my way to class, i were able to snap some photos as i went through...(without making people thinks like i am a mental confusion people...lol)

2nd, today is the competition day for my coculiculum unit, badminton. As i enter the male single and male double, i was realized that i facing the most skilled guy in male single. Under all calculations, i can't beat him, the result was 11 against 15(15 points only!!!!OMG), i lost. Then male double i lost my focus, made many mistakes, WTF!!!! all matches KOed in first round!!!!

3rd, after i done my gym session, i dont know WTF people, all the way traffic jam to my home!!!! i just wonder is there any car incidents happened, so OMG THESE PEOPLE WATCHING OR DOING WHATEVER WTF THINGS ON THE ROAD CAUSE ALL THE TRAFFIC JAM!!! i were drived nearly an hour to reach my home!!!!!!

CONCLUSION!!!
today is not my day T_T
PLUS THE EXAM IS COMING!!! I AM GONNA ALONE AGAIN!!!T_T

Graffiti Time!!!

2009-08-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

If and only if you were following my blog, then you might know that the strange things that placed behind the lab was actually for my experiment use!!! there are ten animals, owl, snake, fish, dogfish, squirrel, lizard, salamander, frog, duck and bat. and further more i need to draw the diagram of all these animals!!! my drawing are extremely weak, not even can say it is graffiti!!! OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just show some of my "beautiful" drawing!!!!
all these pictures are cited, so you all can barely see the shape of the animals that i draw, so have fun!!! XD

the first despair

2009-08-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

tonight's weather really indicating what i feel start from today, just like the summary of my mood today...firstly, haven't decide want to rain or not, then gradually the rain become bigger. after that, the rain stopped and made a comeback by all of a sudden. after approximate 30 minutes, the rain stopped...again, but another comeback happened within 30 minutes, also is the heaviest one...may be the god of rain know how i feel today...
Actually, in this morning i can't take it anymore and, my joker mask broken...the rage that been accumulated so long time are bursting out...like the air in balloon, some strong enough stimuli broke the defences of the balloon and the air go out...I rather store the rage for myself, so that i wouldn't make a scar in my friends' heart...because i know once the scars are made, it take a very long time to recover...there are some times that i nearly break the mask...but today, i can't make it again...the rage itself yelled to go out...
Friends, I am so sorry that I made the scars to your heart...hope you can forgive me......

Flowers this year looks better....

2009-08-10T04:53:00.000-07:00

It's obvious that my house area rained like the cats and dogs fighting each others...that's why the beautiful flowers all scatted on the ground...poor litter flowers...haven't done their destinated duty and being called by the god of death...well anyway...THEY ARE JUST FLOWERS...AND THAT'S THAT AND WHAT DONE IS DONE!!! XD
these supposed happened to be uploaded to my blog last saturday...actually these things happened on last friday, but i too tired to add new post, but then saturday i was to annoyed by somethings so i gave up on saturday...so i will just have to summurize them...XD wakakaka

1 to 3 pm in bio lab i done the dissection of our little cute small strong(cockcroch)...with violent method...XD
i also requested to draw the pictures of the small strong and it's leg(why am i bother to do these things?!), the pawns and crabs...
near 3pm, i realized that the lab assitances displayng some samples of animals made from real things(what scared me most is the owl....and the bats in the bottles...poor batman...XD)
the mathermatic lectures was just last for >2 hours because the lecturer completely, unexpectedly, nevertheless, passion towards math trusted the clock in the lecture hall's computer...the time was completely misaccurated..for at least 12 hours(since it is am while actually is pm...XD)...we all go out 30 minutes before the 5pm...
then i have the usual gym session...with the guys...
later, some of us go out for dinner...take some photos...
then return to the college...on8.30 pm...(i heard the college is haunted...near this late hours...scary...bloody hell)
nevertheless...some of us go out for a seat in mamak stall...
then i reaches house on 10pm...@_@

What a busy DAY!!!luckily the day after was Saturday, or else i will dead for sure...
the photos below are cited with proper sequence, so there won't be necessary to scroll up and down and up and down...XD...

the flowers this really beautiful...maybe it was me that didn't realized it last few years...people always missed when they walk too fast...didn't stop for having a look around them...there are many beautiful thing we were missed...here some beautiful wallpaper i found on net...have fun!!!

散れ ...千本樱

DIALOGUE SESSION WITH THE POLICE?!

2009-08-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

early in the morning, i suppose don't have any classes until 11am. but curse that stupid TAR college's student affairs department(SAD in short) staff Tan S*** S***(pronounce like the gorilla in Chinese) approve the stupid dialogue session with police at DK ABA, caused me need to wake up as usual and rush to the venue on time. if and only if it will be better if the police arrive on time, but in the end, all of the course reps, class reps wait for nothing until nearly 10am, then the police come. if something emergence happen, and the so called "punctuality" goes on among the police, already die many people lo...T_T
remember this three guys!!!they are extremely, unexpectedly, extraordinary slowpoke!!!actually, all of the following pictures are captured secretly, so maybe there will be blur.
actually from the left to right, those two are Chinese, but unbelievable they looks like Malay, well the one sit on the right hand side is Malay.

waiting...waiting...waiting...waiting...waiting...waiting...waiting...HOW LONG WE GONNA WAIT?!

they said they are from the criminal investigation department(CID), after some usual staff like don't using handphone when you are walking down the street, find some friends to accompany you and blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar blar things, the questioning session begun(more like the interrogation).
i didn't take down all the questions asked during the session, but i still remember some of it..Y^^

Question 1
student X : i saw some videos show that the police will torture the suspect to get information, is it true?
ANS : well, we can't do this because under law 304 or 204(whatever), we can't hurt the suspect until the evidence is found...(something like this)
Question 2
student Y: i heard that the traffic penalty charge rate will increase this year. is it true?
of course this question asked to wrong department.
Question 3
Student Z: i heard that some of the patrolling police car are the Mitsubishi evolve, what's that for?
this question appearing a little funny, the lowest rank officer said they need some better car to chase the thief, if the thief got better vehicles, there are no hope that the traditional proton saga can chase the cars.

the session goes on until 11.15am, and luckily, my bladder nearly reach the limit, so i can hold for some time and rush to the toilet. when i reach the class, the stu*** Jenn**** said why i come late. simple question, simple answer. i answered i captured the police and wrap them up like mummy, now they are showing at DK ABA, want to see? LOL,LOTF

the day end without any accidents and incidents, expect feel EXTREMELY SLEEPY WHEN DOING THIS POST!!!!! wakakakakakakakakakakaka Y^^

zzz.zzz.zzz...
even the police will also not enough sleep...wakaka

one of the funny thing: when you encounter the criminal, you can try to take he/she(women criminals?) down, you can even hurt him/her, not until he/she died. then i think, what if i use the minimal of the minimal force to punch he/she, just one punch and he/ she already serious injured???

Blood 'SELLING' Campaige?!

2009-08-03T06:34:00.000-07:00

OMG, i sell my blood for these following goodies!
LOL Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
just kidding, just donate some of my blood to rescue some ppl from dying from lack of blood. but i thought that one of my lecture said that there are not completely positive effect to the recipient when he or she accept my blood, something like make that person's liver to do extra works because accept my blood. based on some proportion, my blood are not completely all very newly produced blood, some of the RBC ( red blood cells for those who don't know) are actually dying, so the recipient's liver are taking this dirty job to clean up the rubbish. somehow i think it is logic and reasonable. well, what done's done. i give out some blood, just my hypothesis, i can 'release' some of the nutrient that i am not using, let the nutrient to reduce some of the blood glucose...wakaka Y^^
either way, there is a new FOC SIM CARD!!!!!
from the hotlink youth club, thinking that the charge rate is low, I MAY CONSIDER TO USE IT!!! depends on the situation, but don't expect too much!!!
want to know the new number? just download the picture and zoom it yourself la...still lazy? do it la, won't cost you too much time one...feeling unwell? well if you can't withstand, just go to sleep la... alright alright, you must appreciate me, the no. is 017-3498631...see, what a nice person of me, knowing that you won't go and download it, i have to get the Sim card from the goodies bag and type it here!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
thinking that yuuji is very pity, just register a new youth club sim card, but now he go and 'sell' his blood, get a new Sim card, what a waste...lol. but he said he wants to get a new phone, so he can uses 2 Sim cards... poor yuuji...wakaka.
the college hall still as cold as always, the PA system keep broadcasting some relatively old songs, making me unable to fight against sleeping, but when the nurse come and start the progress, i still feeling uneasy, since this is only my 2nd times of 'selling' my blood, when she injecting some pain reliever(aspirin i think?), i already get used the needle during my primary school, i didn't fell any special feeling, but one thing is really really times ten times strange. when the nurse piercing the needle for blood transfusion, i can feel some pain, not like the first time, may be the pain reliever didn't work...GOD KNOW!!! any way the blood 'selling' still went very smooth, at least for the moment, maybe something will happen tonight?
CHOI!!! SPEAKING NONSENSE THING!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

OMG!!!the 2 is disapper!!!

the second time blood "SELLING"

the goodies bag...well i think the only the early birds can get this...LOL Y^^

one of the gym day

2009-07-30T04:45:00.000-07:00

well, since this is the first blog...not too sure what to upload to this first blog...maybe something very interesting...i guess Y^^
since i became one of the "experimental white mouse"(i am more prefer another animal rather than being mice, well since there no other better description...lol), i been training for 5 weeks already. After the testing, i realize that i grow 0.7kg of muscle, and 2.0kg of fats has been burnt out after this long time. not sure this is a good thing, or just i am not hardworking enough?! even somebody said he just has 0.9kg of muscles growing, said something like just 0.9kg only, not even to 1.0kg...
well, i don't know what to type already, and that's that!!! lol...Y^^
well by the way...this blog's name...i just simply put this name...so dont and never, not even think and ask me why this name, where's the idea etc...
this picture just a little result fro the gym workout, still, my potential has not yet reach!!!