My Feeling...?!

thanks for the CNY, now my schedule is going completely chaos...the day that suppose to be going for a jogging is cancelled due to the over-comsumpted stamina and lack of sleep...the day suppose to start to packing for the trip to PD is messed by the parents' friends visiting and forced to do it in one night...now i even feeling like i dont want to sleep anymore, even i am exhausted, pissed by the baby cousins' childishness, feeling boring toward any entertaiments that i have...


after reading an article, i am seriously thinking about how to express my feelings, either it's good or unpleased...but i find out that due to enviromental factor, i am always hiding my feelings, regardless it's unconsciously or intented to...guess what is that particular factor? it's my mum...and my dad too.


my mum teached me that 'special skill' in many ways, scolding, telling with anger, telling with tears, even with a cane(when i small though...^^), whereas my dad teached me in one and only and his favorite way, capture me, wanted to chat with him in a relative forcefully way...


so with that, i can easily to lost my temper, if i want to, and everythings that seldom or never come out from my mouth can be appear from it, and i can completely close my mind, letting you having the hypothetically guessing...


and i just realised that i having 2 completely different personalities, one take place in meeting the friends, like in college or hang out with them. the other one take place in meeting with my relatives. in college, i become very talkactive, playful till naive, but when i return from college, i just want my personal dimension, without anyone disturbing me to do my works, playing games alone.


now you may ask, what if my family members meet my friends in public places such as shopping center or vacation spots? well, depends on which party that i follow at the first place, so that particular personality will take place. kinda creepy huh? even now i suspect i am having Dissociative identity disorder (DID).


based on the wikipedia, Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. The diagnosis requires that at least two personalities routinely take control of the individual's behavior with an associated memory loss that goes beyond normal forgetfulness; in addition, symptoms cannot be the temporary effects of drug use or a general medical condition.

so, base on that, i am not having the DID, but if my assumption is correct, everyone must be having the same condition like me, whether it's just once a while only or daily rountine...i wish this ridiculous assumption goes wrong...here i go again, making nonsence hypothesis...

maybe i'll just clear my mind, and sleep

i want to know is there any Zen classes for free? i want to join...

Tiger WooHoo...

as a local made movie, by considering they having a low budget when making this movie, overall it's nice...

just after the saddest part, the plot went ways too smooth, get what i mean??
dont say me i am a spoiler, after the Ah Beng, Ah Rain and Ah Huat decided to turn back to trained to play the tiger dancing things, there are no significant difficulties to stop them...i think it's the low budget thing drag them down and cause the movie become relative shorter than the others...

at least there is a lot of laugh and the tiger is cute too...XD

BIG RENOVATION!!!

well, i can't say i am a hardworking+like-to-be-clean person, but i am not lazy+dirty person either...

after i took my mum home from the shop( and she keeps scolding my sister about her messy room, and very indirectly scolded me too...T_T), i decided to clean up my rrom once more, if my memory served me correctly, the last time i clean up my room is on 26th of December 2009. not too far, yet not too short period to get messy again...well actually last time i were throwing out all those useless junks, scrapes etc to make more spaces. and soon after that, the exam period is around the corner, so my notes is rather scattered everywhere, especially the notes of the unit that i done the exams...at least i have a very good reason of not to keep my room tidy...

but now the exam passed, so this reason is no longer valid. and since the CNY is around the corner, why dont i take this chance to do some cleaning job? so that on sunday i can play whole without worrying the clean up jobs..so i just had to collect all of the notes, arrange them in my own system, and re-design my arrangement of the elements of my rooms, especially the destination of the notes.

when i try to compressing my tons of notes, my mum coming, said something like the feels is lies between compliments and bad comments, like,"wa!!! so hardworking today a? automatically cleaning up ur room" and etc...so you get that feeling...XD... if it takes anythings to stop my mum from scolding people either directly or indirectly, i dont care it and do it at once...middle-age women get angry very easily and scary too...T_T

my room...relative big...i think so?!

so she gave another container, to keep all of my notes, books and some magazines, and the previous container will be filled by miscellenous things like chess board, keyboard. after rearranged the books, notes etc, i realized that there is still a lot of spaces to put some decorations. but for my style, i rather put some novels, and entertaiments applications...the biggest problem is no $$...T_T

well, thinks that i gonna take a bath to clean my body, it's sweaty and smelly when i trying this post...by the way, did i mentioned that my mum likes clean at everywhere, even though she is Aquarius and i am lies between Leo and Virgo?