Sins Harvest.....

humans, just merely a mixtures of some chemical elements. Carbon, Oxygen, Hydrogen, Calsium, Magnesium, Nitrogen etc. but all of these combined, they become human, a living thing that has thought, has mind, has knowledges. all these will produce personalities, kind, evil, sellfish, generosity, nice, grump, active, lazy, outgoing, shy etc. all these will produce moods, happy, sad, love, heart-breaking, jealous etc.

these all will make up a life, either meaningful, meaningless, fun, sad, precious, dreadful, with or without friends. but why all the humans all made up of angry?! sad?! jealous?!?!

i admit i has weakness, but, i want to ask, can you pin point out your weakness?! CAN YOU?!

i do believe there are some people can do it, some people can't. and i am the one who can't. i admit it. but what's the purpose of friends?!

it's to help you, assist you to recognise you weakness. to tolerate your angry, your sellfish, your weakness. to grow with you, to make fun of you, while you can do it too, too help you discover your unique ability, unique personality, some special kindness that other people do not have.

but then, why there are still some people think that he or she should be treated like a prince or princess?! although he or she just born from normal family?! not under the bloodline of royalty?! WHY?!

he or she require somebody else to celebrate some special days. in return, he or she should celebrate the friends that helped him or her!!! this is humans. always needs rewards, in any form. money, famous, wealth or even some words of praise!!!!

but at our generation, this generation, we require no the things like this. but, we just want some praises, some comforts, some supports, or just remember our special days. this is enough to maintain a friendships.

i admit i am very forgetfulness, i admit somehow, i did like to do some expectations that never gonna accurate. but, will this gonna make me lost a friendship?!


THAT PERSON CALL ME A LOSER!!! WHAT ABOUT HER?! NOT JUST MY BIRTHDAY!!! EVEN THE OTHERS ONE!!!!! AND NOW SHE JUST EXPEXT THAT WE WILL OBEY HER ORDER?!?! LIKE A ROYAL DOG?!! OR LIKE A ROYAL SERVANT?! THAT ALWAYS FOLLOW THE 'YOUR HIGHNESS', WIHTOUT ANY OBJECTIONS?! WITHOUT ANY EMOTIONS?! IS HAVING A BOYFRIEND CAN HAVE THESE RIGHT TO TOLD OTHER PEOPLE TO DO WHAT THEY DON'T WANT?! MAYBE THE BOYFRIEND CAN OBEY YOU, BUT YOU CAN'T, EVEN THINK ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE WILL DO THIS FOR YOU!!! ONLY FOR YOU!!!!

WE DID NOT FORGET YOU, BUT IT'S YOU ARE THE ONE, WHO JUST ISOLATED WITH US, YOU DIDN'T EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS TO ME, SO HOW CAN I MAKE SOME EXPECTATIONS FROM YOU?! YOU NEVER ASK, NEVER TELL ME HOW'S YOUR FEELING, NEVER EXPOSE YOUR PERSONALITY TO ME!!!

I DID RESPECT YOU, AND YOU SOMEHOW RESPECTING ME. BUT WHAT NOW?! YOU ARE  DISCRIMINATING ME!!!!! DID I EVER DO THAT?! DID I SHOUT A F**K WORD IN FRONT YOUR FACE?! I ACTUALLY FORGET TO INVITE YOU, BUT HOW ABOUT YOU?! DID YOU PLAN ANY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR ANYONE OF US?! JUST TO YOUR BOYFRIEND ONLY, FOR YOUR OTHER FELLOW FRINEDS. I DIDN'T MIND IF YOU DO THAT, BUT, EVEN IF I ASKED YOU, WHAT WILL YOU DO?!

EVERYONE IS A PRETENTER!!!!!!! EVEN YOU SHOUTING AT ME, BUT ARE ALSO WEARING A MASK!!! A MASK THAT I TRY TO ISOLATE FROM US!!!!! YOU NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELING TO ME! THEN?! WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME DIRECTLY?! FACE TO FACE, OR SMS, OR BLOG, OR E-MAIL, OR INSTANT MESSSAGES?! DID YOU DO THAT?!

YOU ARE JUST CARING YOUR FEELING ONLY, THE FEELINGS THAT YOU DID NOT EXPOSE TO ME!!!!! HOW CAN I UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELING?! YOU AND ME IS AT THE EDGE OF FRIENDSHIP, THE FRIENDS THAT WE KNOW EACH OTHER, BUT WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER'S PERSONALITY, DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER'S FAVORITE AND DISLIKE THINGS?!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN SHOUT AT SOMEONE ELSE THAT YOU ARE NOT TOO FAMILIAR WITH THE WORDS 'LOSER, PREENTER'?! DON'T YOU THINK YOU ARE TOO NAIVE?! EVEN MYSELF. TYPING THIS POST, I ALSO FEELING I AM NAIVE TOO!!!!!!!

DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HAVE NEGATIVE MOODS?! ME, MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, EVEN ONE IN THIS WORLD, THIS DIMEMSION, THIS TIME HAVE THEIR OWN FEELING!!!!! HAVE THEIR OWN NEGATIVE MOOD!!!!! BUT THEN, DID THEY EXPOSED?! DID THEY UNWEARING THEIR MASK?! THE MASK WITH A FACE OF HAPPY,OF SMILE, BUT BENEATH IT, IS THE FACE OF ANGER, HATRED, JEALOUS, SAD!!! BUT WHY WE WEAR A MASK, TO FOOL THE WORLD, TO FOOL THE PEOPLE AROUND US!!!!!

I CAN'T MERELY TO WEARING MY MASK ALL THE TIMES, BUT I CAN FIND A WAY OUT, TO COVER THE PART THAT MY MASK CAN'T COVER. CHEATING IS A BAD THINGS, BUT EVERY THING HAS A GOOD SIDE OF IT. I AM CHEATING IT IS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT MY VOLCANO-LIKE TEMPER TO EXPOSE TO OTHERS!!! I ALREADY LEARN HOW TO CONTROL MY TEMPER, HOLD IT NOT TO BE EXPLODE AGAIN, BUT NOW, YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE WHO TRIGGLED IT!!! FOR THE FIRT TIME SINCE MY FORM FOUR, I CAN'T CONTROL IT, I NEARLY TO HIT ANYTHINGS THAT IS GETTING IN MY WAY!!!

THAT'S IT, IF YOU WANT AN END, I CAN END IT!!!!!