I don't want to be doesn't mean i can't be....

I just don't understand, why even my mum still don't understand COMPLETELY my personalities?

1.) I remain silence doesn't mean i don't had any comments, opinions and objections...

2.) I didn't take care the important things first doesn't mean i don't know how to allocate the priorities...

3.) I didn't planned anything doesn't mean i don't know how to plan...

4.) I keep playing the games doesn't mean i am a lazy person...

start from the 1st point:
these occurred quite often recently because i didn't go to school, so i have a lot of time to staying in the shop and helping my mum out when there is necessarily. For this, i being scolded for a lot of time...the truth is, i respect my parents, so I didn't tell them what am i really thinking, the eastern polite manner...from what i can see from the movies, especially the production of UK and US, the children always tell their heart, i envy, and jealous for them able to tell what they are reallying thinking to their parents. But this will never applied on my parents, because they are still "old-minded", keep saying that they are the "absolute right", and have much more experience than me, using the old phase: I ate more salt than you ate rice. Sometimes, I still correct them if they make mistake, but most of the time, they will scold me, no matter what kind of manner i used, anger, joke, mock, kind and everything...

Than the 2nd point:
Just the case happen everyday, since my April Exam result is released. My mum keep command me to search around the informations of loans, scholarships etc, because they can't support me fully to study abroad. And i did, within 30 minutes, and after i scanned through the documents required, i alway stopped and bookmark the website for future usage. Why i stopped? Simply I just need an "unconditional offer letter" from the University of Chester...and chain effect, i'll need my transcript and my letter of completion (the letter that prove i completed my diploma course)...this is where i stopped at my current progress to study abroad...but I don't just sit there and shaking my legs, instead i take actions to apply these documents. And i swear I putted all of my efforts for all of the time...the officers didn't do their works, so what can i do?! keep complaining them and they will just smile at you, said something like under progress...I always plan everything based on their priorities, but what the point my mum keep scolding me i don't know how to judge??!!

Move on 3rd point:
This is what i most frustrated with...i had planned everything in my mind, no matter what...settling things, journeys, gaming, handling important things and everything that's needed to be planned...and back to 1st point, i don't speak them up because i respect my parents, and prevent get scolded if they don't like the plan...i had everything in my mind, and i can judge myself i like to plan everything, if you willing to let me plan...and this is the point where i can always have an argument with my parent...they just don't tell me everything...I want to help them if they are facing some trouble, as long as they can listen my opinion...but they just said "kids don't mess up the adults' matters"...what am i?! A three years-old children?! come on, i am twenty already!! and i had the rights to share my mind, and using an old phase again, "to heads are better then one", even now it's three brains together!!! the ancestors said, the viewers are always having the clearest mind, and i completely trust with it!!! I can't be helped when it's need to be done with my parents, but my plans is always referable!!!!! and my mum just said i don't know how to plan, i just don't want to hurt your honor and feeling okay??!!

Finally, 4th point:
I played games just because i want to killing the times only, and conclude every points above, this is what i can do when there is no customers, no actions that i must taken myself....

and i just don't understand why they can't trust me?! even some of my friends said i had a god-gifted brain with such good analysis skill and planning?!

I wonder if i was a great tactician in my previous life....if had any....